Still Here

I haven't disappeared. I just can't seem to connect the dots between my brain and the keyboard. And don't even ask about my emotions as the heat, the economy, the poor people of Myanmar, and the job search have the potential to send me over the edge. In case you wonder what I do with all my time (which seems to be the question to ask stay at home mothers and is rude - when I worked, no one asked me to account for my usefulness), here's the weekly run down. Forgive me, I'll try to get it together soon.

• Job search on computer for numerous, mind-numbing hours
• Draft curriculum vitae for review by "boss with perks"
• Search refrigerator for something that will resemble a dinner
• Water new tomato, pepper and cantaloupe plants in hope that the sun from hell will not kill them
• Attend various functions at school - this week the Spring Concert and the Mother's Day Picnic
• Listen to Hew's newest rendition on the harmonica - thank you Auntie H, I will seek full revenge on the next birthday of your kid
• Listen to KK sing the 50 states song repeatedly - can now list the 50 states
• Count down the number of days left at school - only 13
• Continue pursuit to find bottom of the laundry basket - still no success
• Review "work" with "boss with perks" once kids have gone to sleep. Must ask for raise.
• Scourge brain for something exciting to write about on neglected blog and instead post photos in place of real writing.
  

Knitting versus Sewing

When I was pregnant with KK, I was put on bed rest for ten weeks. Believing that I was bored and had nothing to do, my husband taught me to knit (yes, he learned to knit when he was in Norway as a ploy to pick up girls - a story for another time). Over the past six years since this time, I have periodically selected a simple knitting project and made various hats, mittens, and stockings. Knitting allows my hands to be active while I sit. I have found that knitting gives me the freedom to stop flying about without feeling guilty about my inactivity.

About a month ago, I was shopping for a plain, white button down shirt for our trip to Belgium. My travel clothes always include a pair of black pants and a white shirt as they can be worn just about anywhere. My pants had held up well since our last trip, but my white shirt was looking a little worn and frayed. I didn't image that finding a white, button down shirt would be such a problem. As I am short, I shop in the petite section. Since nursing two children, certain parts of my anatomy are less than petite. I could not find one white shirt that fit through the shoulders while not puckering between the buttons. In frustration, I bought a pattern and material and decided to make my own damn shirt.

Needless to say, I am still making the shirt. If my mother hadn't laughed when I bought the material, I would have quietly put this project aside, but pride demands that I finish this stupid thing, even though it is obvious that I would fail a home economics class. Yesterday, I was quite proud of the darts I sewed into the front and back of the shirt. Feeling smug, I went to sew the front to the back - a rather easy step. It was only when my husband pointed out that my darts seams were showing that I realized I sewn the front and the back together backwards! Today, my project is pulling out the seams from yesterday and trying again. I hope to have this damn thing done before I fly to Maine in June, otherwise I expect some more laughter from my mother.

It's not that I haven't sewn before. I made my daughter a couple of cute jumpers when she was an infant. I put a cute hem on my new jeans when I shortened them a month ago. Yet this shirt is my Mt. Everest - the unsewn pieces taunting me. Now I just want it done, so I can put my sewing machine back in the laundry room to collect dust.

I think from now on I'll stick to knitting.

Don't cha' hate it . . .

When you spend all day making soup. You soak the beans for a day, hand chop various vegetables, put in the herbs. You actually follow the recipe word for word. Put it all in the slow cooker for several hours, stirring only when required by the recipe. And when you finally taste it , it's terrible.

Pizza. anyone?

A Boat Tour of Brugge

When the rain finally stopped, we took a lovely but cold, boat ride around Brugge.

Enjoy the view!

Cultural Highlight

In case, you believe we spent all our time at child friendly places like Eftling and Oceade, here's proof that we did manage to drag the children through one museum. The Choco Story is a museum all about chocolate. The museum follows the discovery and the history of cocoa, as well as the development of the chocolate bar. The museums is especially appealing to young children as they have developed a sticker game, where children must find postings at each exhibit and put the matching stickers in the right order. The end of the museum has an area that shows the making of chocolates and some impressive chocolate sculptures.

During our visit, there were numerous sculptures of chocolate dogs. I have to say that these sculptures made me rethink my ban on dogs at our house.

I am sure theses are easier to clean up after than the real thing.

Man's Best Friend.

Also, there were chocolate hats . . .

with apples and corsages!

And finally, the nudes!

And I was worried the kids wouldn't enjoy the museums!

Where we have been spending our time

I promise more later in the week. In brief, the kids did very well and Delta Airlines did not. Beyond the normal lost luggage, delays, and tight connections, the last leg of the flight yesterday (Atlanta to Tampa) was through a lightening storm where we thrown around quite a bit. We were stuck circling in the storm for an hour and it was quite scary. So today, the kids and I are going to curl up on the couch, watch some cartoons (in English!), and sample some of the treats we brought home. Better photos later.

Happy Birthday Hew

Four years ago at this time, still groggy from the meds, I finally met you. I knew all these years I would have a boy and you had your name long before you were conceived.

I had to laugh yesterday when your aunt called me to tell me that your present contained a kazoo and a harmonica. She said that you were a kid who needed a kazoo and as much as I protested about the noise, I knew she was right. You are that happy, go lucky kid who walks around for hours blowing into a kazoo because its fun. Never mind that the rest of the house hears noise, you just keep going because you're having a good time.

Not to say that you don't have your moments. That first year you resisted sleep like it was a battle. Our contest of wills went on until you realized that you like to nap as much as I do. I don't expect to win them all, but I appreciate that you finally gave in on that one. You have moments of vulnerability that remind me that while self assured, you are just four. Today at school when you didn't want me to leave, I was once again reminded that you aren't always as confident as you appear.

I know we expect a lot from you, but I also know that you consistently rise and surpass our expectations. We are very proud of you and can't imagine our lives without a kazoo player. Happy 4th Birthday.

Five Days and Counting

Holy crap - where has the time gone?!!!! Might it be that I have basically been a single parent, as well as legal recruiter, vacation planner, and the usual domestic goddess for two weeks while PH has studied for some ridiculous exam that will not in any way assist his career, but his firm wanted him to take it for bragging rights. Might it be that I am writing in run-on sentences because there is so much to do and only five days. Throw in St. Patrick's Day, the Easter parade at school, Hew's birthday both at home and at school, KK's class needs 25 cupcakes, and the early arrival of the friggin' Easter Bunny. Plus if my insane in-laws send one more thing to be delivered to PH"s brother in France, I might just scream all the profanities in my head at my God fearing Catholic mother-in-law. We have an entire suitcase full of crap for PH's brother and I am not taking a second one. The irony is that most of the crap says made in China and we're going to fly is halfway back. Oh, and yes, there is a cold front blowing into Belgium and it may SNOW the day we land. While normally I am the greatest lover of snow, when we land it will be Easter Sunday, nothing will be open, we can not get into the hotel until noon, and I had planned to wander around the Grand Plaza area until we could take our sleep deprived, screaming children to the hotel; however snow like weather does not sound like the time to be wandering around OUTDOORS for any length of time! And KK has developed a runny nose and cough in the last 24 hours! (insert hyperventilating here)

Yes, I am excited. Yes, I am damn lucky to be going. Yes, I should count my blessings. Yes, I might spontaneously combust if my own mother tells me one more time to just relax and enjoy all the planning. I will calm down and enjoy it once we are there - the suitcases and the crap from China has arrived with my two children and husband at the airport. I will feel even better once we are checked into the hotel and napping. And I bet, the next day as we leave Brussels to spend a week in a lovely apartment in Bruges, I might even smile. But for now I have five more days of crazed preparations.

Oh, and did I forget to mention the school trip to GATORLAND - live alligators, snakes, and various reptiles with fifty kindergarten students . . .

does this look like good planning to you?

You Asked!

Rosie from Brittany tagged me for this meme. Feel free to play along by linking this post and give me a shout so I can peer shamelessly into your life.

Seven Random Facts

1. I have the ability to remember the all the words to just about any song. Due to my parents’ music choice and my own misspent youth, I have a large repertoire of song lyrics of early 70s country western and 80s pop/rock. If only lessons in school had been sung, then I might have been a genius. This talent is rather ironic as . . .
2. I am unable to carry a tune. I have never sung an actual note in tune. I still have memories of a music teacher hitting one piano key over and over, and me trying to sing in key. The poor women just couldn’t wrap her mind around my complete tone deafness. I imagine that she is probable still sitting there on the piano bench, muttering “just one more time” while simultaneously hitting the same key over and over.
3. My baby toe on both feet nearly has no toe nail. It just never grows. PH claims I should receive a twenty percent discount when receiving a pedicure as the nail tech only has to paint four toes on each foot.
4. I can still do a cartwheel, a handstand, and on a good day, a standing back bend. At age almost 39, my old gymnastic skills are enough to impress my daughter, age six. I fear what I will need to be able to do to impress her ten years from now.
5. I still have three of my four grandparents alive. As I did not marry and have children until age thirty plus, I wonder how much time my children would have with their great grandparents. All of my grandparents spend some of their winter in Florida so the kids have time with them. Also, our trips home always include a stop at my grandparent’s farm so the kids can ride the tractor with Great Grampa (and now Grampa as Great Grampa doesn’t always recognize us). Unfortunately, time is beginning to take its toll on all three and I am not sure how much longer this fact will be true.
6. I love autumn. The cooling air and clear blue skies, the changing leaves, sweater weather, apple orchards, pumpkin patches, the cold rain foreshadowing the coming snow. Ten years in Florida have not diminished this but instead have lead to much depressive whining and complaining come October when it is still 90 degrees in this place.
7. I am a planner. I want to know where I am going and any obstacles along the way so I can plan to reduce their impact. I know that Life is constantly throwing surprises and I’d be bored if I knew it all ahead of time, but I can’t stop my mind from having contingence plans.

Happy Monday!

Flu and Frenzy

Didn't mean to disappear for over a week, but I came down with the stomach flu, got better, and then had a second round of the flu after Hew picked it up. The only good part was that I managed to shed a couple of those holiday pounds.

As I recovered, I also began trying to arrange the trip to Belgium. Being the insane planner that I am, I usually have months on end to plan our vacations. I spend hours fawning over websites, travel books, and blogs to find just the right place to stay and the sites to visit. Less than thirty days to plan an overseas trip with two small children is not conducive to hyper-planning personality. Add into the mix the stomach flu (TWICE!) and that as I am not currently employed, I also planned the four days we are spending with PH's brother and family, and you can see it was a recipe for a melt down.

After numerous hours searching and emailing the family in France, I had the accommodations chosen. I waited dutiful like a good wife to show them to PH Monday night. He fawned over and complimented my hasty but well chosen choices. Tuesday morning I woke with a smug smile on my face and a credit card in hand, ready to reserve these accommodations. As I logged on, my pride was replaced with panic as I found that two of the three accommodation were no longer available. The next four hours were spent swearing and and making executive decision without consulting hubby or his damn family. As it currently stands, we will arrive in Brussels and spend one night in a hotel, then head to Brugge for four nights in a lovely self catering apartment, back to Brussels to meet with PH's family for four nights all together in a three bedroom apartment. This leaves us the last five nights to choose between German and The Netherlands which I will plan at the last minute just in case PH needs to go anywhere in particular.

It was during this planning frenzy that I discovered that we will be landing in Belgium on Easter Sunday. Bad parent that I am, I forgot that Easter is early this year so my kids will be celebrating Easter by making their first international flight. This has raised numerous questions. Can the Easter Bunny hide eggs on the plane? Do we have to claim the Easter treats found on our custom's form? Does the Easter Bunny need a passport for an international flight? Will he have to remove his shoes, jacket, and belt too when he goes through security? Will the plastic eggs be confiscated for national security? Can the Easter Bunny bring jelly beans that will immediately put children to sleep on long, international flight and have them wake up refreshed and ready for a long first day, thus avoiding the inevitable sleep deprived screaming fit?

The glass is half full. The glass is half full. The glass is half full. . . .

In trying to shift my view of the world, I am currently sitting outside enjoying the fact that for a second morning we have weather below 60 degrees. The weatherman says the temperature will be back up to normal temperatures by this afternoon, but for now I am comfortably dressed in jeans and a light sweater breathing in the cool, pollen filled air.

In reality my good mood is based on the fact that I will be leaving this state for two weeks at the end of March. Spring break is fast approaching and after throwing ideas around that comported with the school's allotted time, PH and I decided that the kids are young enough to miss some school and how often will I not be working, so we are taking two weeks and going to Belgium. Yes, we are now those evil people who will actually take their young kids (ages four and six) on an international flight and ruin a perfect good nine hour flight for the rest of the plane.

So why Belgium? We had a long list of places but there were requirements to be met which helped us reduce the potential vacation spots. First, there had to be a direct or near direct flight. Second, the place had to be less than a day train ride from Paris so PH's family can come to visit us. Third, there had to be a major international airport in case PH had any company interested in speaking with him while we are there (more on that in a bit). And fourth, there had to be a number of children friendly activities. We were down to Frankfurt (direct flight, four hours to Paris, international airport, giant amusement park and boat rides on the Rhine), Amsterdam (direct from Miami, couple hours to Paris, international airport, great zoo, amusement park nearby, boat rides), and Brussels (no direct but less than two hour layover in Atlanta, under two hours to Paris, international airport and close to Amsterdam also, nearby amusement park, boat rides, chocolate). We had ticket prices, were looking for vacation rentals, and kid activities. Then the deciding factor - the flight to Brussels was substantially cheaper if we took an extra two days. Amsterdam and Frankfurt were left in the dust and we will be in Europe for a full two weeks. So if anyone will be around the Belgian area the end of March and beginning of April, and would enjoy the torture of meeting up with us, let me know.

More on this later now I must get back to my job of finding jobs, writing cover letters, and editing the CV for PH. It appears that I have become a secretary, as well as a domestic goddess.

"Dispatches from the Edge"

I recently started reading Anderson Cooper's book Dispatches from the Edge. Cooper suffered the loss of his father at a young age. He discuss the disconnect he felt later in life from emotion as he viewed carnage from the areas he went to report. He describes being there and seeing unspeakable images, and yet being emotionally distant.

Do all humans have this ability - to be physically present but emotionally unavailable? Does great tragedy have to occur to acquire this talent of sort or does basic human hurt teach us to protect ourselves through the use of emotional distance?

I also just finished reading Japanland - A Year in Search of Wa by Karin Muller, a quick read about a woman searching for harmony and focus while living and filming a documentary in Japan. During this year, the author meets a mime who is also a foreigner. The two discuss how the Japanese are experts at wearing masks - "the successful ones know exactly which ones to wear and when . . . They're comfortable admiring the beauty of the surface." Ignoring the stereotypical aspect of this discussion, it appears that most people wear asks. The subconscious choices we make when we present ourselves to the world - viciously guarding the warts and weaknesses so they can not be used to embarrass or hurt us.

The emotional detachment described by Cooper grows when someone we trust and love who forces off our mask to reveal the ugly with no intent but to rub our faces in our weaknesses. Two nights ago on the phone, I wish I had the courage to respond to the person who felt it necessary to point out my warts and weaknesses in such a hurtful way. It's not that I am unaware of them. This year has been a public display of failure on so many levels and while my mask is certainly in place when I leave the front door, my mind has not stopped asking how I have managed to become so lost. I certainly have not suffered the losses that Cooper reports on which makes me even weaker because I should be contented with all I have, and yet I am lost and longing for direction.

Instead, I said nothing in response to the exposure, ignoring the dig. Just emotionally stepping back again.

Dreams

So it appears we will not be moving to Denmark at this time. The interview itself was a good thing as PH has not done an interview in fifteen years. It was good to get some experience on a job and a country that was not really important to either of us. I would like to know if all this "finding a job overseas" is just a silly dream or if there really is a shot. I realize it has only been a month of "real" job searching and I need to be patient. I'd like to believe, but sometimes I wonder if that isn't the part of me that still wants to believe in Santa Claus, karma, and happy endings.

As far as my dreams, they still are elusive. Part of me doesn't trust my instinct after the most recent horror of teaching. Part of me just doesn't really know what in hell I want and I am not sure I ever will. Part of me (that damn Santa part) still thinks I may want to write. I know - how cliché! But I've said it and sent it out into the universe, so there! I might as well confess to having written a crappy novel about four years ago which remains hidden in a file cabinet. And I finally sat down today and wrote out a thousands words on something that has been floating in my head for awhile. So maybe there is a Santa, karma, and happy endings. And maybe I'll eventually figure out what I want to be if I decide to grow up. Or not.

The Round-Up

Still sick but now on antibiotic. Hope to feel human again soon.

No school today due to teacher workshop. Have walked, rode scooter, written valentine cards, played inside and outside, dissolved sugar and salt in water to teach the definition of dissolve, went to the store, made stuffing for dinner, and still have thirty minutes until nap time.

• Learned that children have began lesson on Black History month, but in the pre-school version of the lesson, Dr. Seuss was invovled in the equal rights march. Hew, age three, referred to Martin Luther King as Martin K. Mooney, explaining that Martin K. Mooney wanted everyone to get along and that Martin K. Mooney was shot.

That's the excitement from Florida. Maybe after nap, we'll launch a spaceship, find a cure for the common cold, or just have a cookie.

Will return when no longer ill and not on a field trip with sixty children, age five. Sinus infection and bus ride with sixty screaming children equals very, very, very bad headache.

Not sure I should write this

As many of you know, we can not talk to anyone here in Florida about our job search and desire to move. That was the reason this blog was born because I needed a place to dream and think and talk about this crazy idea.

PH received an email yesterday about a resume he sent to Denmark. He spoke with them this morning and they want to do an interview in one of their US offices. It is just a first interview and there would be several others as they are a big company with offices worldwide. I am unsure what to think and have a million questions.

Holy Smokes!

Friday Excitment

Today, I am going to read a story for my son's pre-school class. Normally, this would be uneventful, but due to my cold I sound like a phone sex operator. PH claims I could be making good money at home with this voice. Not exactly the career move I planned - criminal lawyer to teacher to stay at home mom to phone sex operator.

I just hope my voice holds up during story time and I don't have to hoarsely whisper to the kids. Stay tuned - this could be the highlight of the week!

Bad attitude day

This week has been a mess. Monday, the kids were home for the holiday which was fun but nothing was accomplished. By Tuesday, I picked up some nasty cold so I have been sick since then (which is probably why I am so grouchy). We have only sent out one resume this week between illness and kids. AND two more teachers from local schools were arrested for trying to have sex with their students.

Since I was a prosecutor for these crimes, I understand that sexual deviants abound everywhere, but we live in a area that seems to attract them. Since the week of Christmas, there have been four arrests of school personnel - one being the local elementary principal and another teacher who tried to work out a quid pro quo arrangement where a kid gave the teacher oral sex for an "A" in his class. Thankfully, the kid was wired so the police have evidence. That is what this place is like - I'm thankful that my community wires a sixteen year old so that a case can be made against some deviant. I'm thankful that the principal is so stupid that he actually brought the porn he created with his student's faces to the office so there is not question he should be arrested. Don't even start me on the guns, gangs and lock downs at the local schools this year.

Forgive the bad attitude - I've just had it with this place. Never mind that the actually education in this county is actually substandard. I pay for private school where the education is equally bad just because there is the hope that the staff are less deviant (or at least I know them all and remind them regularly of my past job of putting people in jail for a very, very, very long time). There is the hope that with such a small school there are less gangs and guns. There certainly are more drugs and alcohol at the high school as many of the parents have too much money and the chose not to parent, but as my kids are pre-school age I hope they never get to the high school here. Don't even start me on the obscenely high teen pregnancy rate or the meth production rate as this county tops the state in both categories. Plus it is hot here yet again!

I think it is time to put down the local paper and go for a long, sweaty walk. Will be back when I can write without having to edit out all the four letter words.

***Ran/Walked five miles and feeling better. Kept repeating that we will be moving at some point in the near future and in the meantime I am lucky to have time to run/walk at 8:30 AM instead of working. Plus played loud, angry music on ipod. Am now too sweaty and tired to be pissed.

Where in the World . . .

Monday appears to be the day of inquiry in our house. For the past three weeks, Monday has brought email inquiries for various companies. First was the UK. A resume was sent for a position in Scotland, but the recruiter wanted to talk about a job in London. Then there was a resume for a position in Luxembourg, but a different recruiter wanted to talk about a job in Boston. As I lived in Boston for several years and PH had visited there, PH quickly explained we were looking at Europe for now, and even with our U.S. education, we knew Boston was not Europe. Today was a request for more information for a position in Norway. We know Norway is expensive and has long, dark winters, yet PH can not hide his excitement. There is only one other position in Germany that has elicited the same reaction as the inquiry from Norway.

Although we haven't a clue where we are going, these inquiries have been fun. I do a bit more research on the different places. We discuss the positive and negative aspects of the job, the area, and the language. We try to anticipate the trials and tribulations. We try to imagine life elsewhere.

The inquiries make for a hopeful Monday. During the week, we both spend a fair amount of time searching for positions, revising and editing the CV and Cover Letter, and filling in various forms. By mid-week, this process can be less fun and more tedious, plus the fear of the unknown is a bit unnerving. But as for Monday, it's full of possibilities of a new and very different life. And until then, I'll just keep working on my knitting

Life for Now

I want to write - really, I do. But I seem to be at a loss of words and thoughts for the moment. I appear to be in this new place where I just am. No reflection, no explanation, no planning, just getting by day to day, moment by moment.

I suppose this is related to the fact that I quit my job and I don't have any idea of what is next. Being a type A, control and planning freak, I should be mid-melt down as we speak. Call it what you want - a loss of reality, avoidance, shut down - whatever it is, I'm not panicked. It's a rather amused state of wondering why I haven't started hyperventilating. I know at some point I need a plan, a purpose, a raison d'etre, but I just don't have it right now and I can't be bothered to think about it. I'd take pictures and post them if I could make the camera work, but it too seems to be on break.

So this is it for now . . . maybe this afternoon, I'll have some insight but probably not.

Who Knew?

I stole this from Sunshine. I normally don't post these things but the answer made me laugh aloud as it is Monday and I am surrounded by laundry and dishes. Look out world :)

Hexe --

[adjective]: Sexually stunning

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Sunshine - I think I corrected the link and I left you a response in the comment section.

The Benefit of Winter

For those of you living in snowy or cold areas, let me remind you that there is a benefit to this season - NO YARD WORK. I know you still have snow to shovel, but you have no trees or shrubs to be trimmed, no moss to collect, no leaves to be raked, no grass to be mowed weekly, and no weeds to be pulled out.

A few weeks ago, we had a bit of a freeze and the top of our bottle brush died. Plus, we hadn't bothered to trim the thing in over a year so it was time for serious trimming and that actually required the use of the chain saw. Additionally, we put in a couple plants a few years back that have grown into trees. Because of the proximity to the house, we feared that the root system would impact the foundation of the house. So we also cut those down this weekend. While those of you in colder climates enjoyed cocoa and cold weather, we (PH and I) created this . . .



My forearms are sore from the use of the chainsaw and the loper, and my back aches from carrying all of that to the curb. Plus it was 80 degrees here today. I miss winter!

Update: PH said it was 82 degrees today not 80 degrees. Sometimes PH is a more of a PIA than a PH.

This new "job" is wearing me out. The kids went back to school Monday so I began spring cleaning. I have made two trips to Goodwill and produced numerous bags of garbage. Additionally, the second part of the job is recruiting for PH and while it has been slow recently, the last couple days have seen an increase in the request for documents and information. No we won't be out of here immediately, but at least they are calling (or emailing). And I thought I might get to lay around and watch a soap opera once in awhile :)

In an effort to increase my technology knowledge, "Santa" brought me an ipod. I have been waiting to post a picture of it but the camera died during Christmas and is refusing to turn on, so this image will have to do.

I can see how this little thing could become quite addictive. I have spent hours pouring over music, making a wish list of songs that I try to put in order of those desired most. With many of these songs, memories come flying back - of childhood, first loves, college, law school, New Hampshire, Boston, Maine, vacations, camp, first real job, dating, engagement, marriage, kids. My children have taken to "shaking their booty" as I play for them the songs of of my misspent youth. So if anyone has suggestions for some "must have" songs, let me know - my wish list is ready for modification!

A Question . . .

We made it back from the beach just in time to enjoy the temperature dip into the 30s. I am currently wearing a sweater, jeans, and boots and loving it :)

The family time at the beach brought up an interesting questions. One that does not have an easy answer but I'd love some thoughts from others outside my family as we have spent the last week together thinking about this. As a parent, what do you do when your adult child is rude, selfish, and mean to you and your other adult children? Also, what happens when this adult child's spouse is also rude and mean to family members? Do you just ignore it or do you try to have a conversation about this?

I have a sibling who is truly self centered. During this family vacation, the spouse of this sibling directly insulted my husband, my child, my father, and me. For the sake of surviving the week, I said nothing as I will not see this sibling and the spouse and their child for another year. The rest of the family has had private conversations about this spouse's behavior as it has been shocking. We are also stunned at my sibling's tolerance of such behavior. It is clear to all of us that this spouse is seeking a confrontation, at which point this spouse will force my sibling to make a choice. Of course, the spouse will be chosen and we believe they will then deny my parents access to their grandchild.

No parent is perfect as I can attest to, but my parents gave us a solid, loving childhood. The sibling involved is the youngest and the only male sibling, and in reality my parents were much more permissive with him. That said, my parents are wonderful grandparents who always remember that their role is grandparent and not parent. The behavior of this past week has left me angry and flabbergasted.

Not exactly the way I wanted to begin this new year, but at least everyone has left and the kids and I are heading out to enjoy the cold before the temperature surges to the 70s this weekend.

Thanks to all who left holiday wishes. Currently I am on vacation with my family -thirteen of us with five under age nine. Tonight after a few drinks while being forced to watch football, we had a "lively discussion" about politics and I was again reminded that there must have been a switch at the nursery many years ago. Love them all, just glad we don't see each other too often :)

Happy New Years to all!

Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night!

FA LA LA LA LA LA LA

Last day is done, over, finite, finished, through, completed, ended, and defunct. I am officially a haus frau. A new adventure begins . . .

Looking forward to Christmas

A Few Gray Skies

Very little that I can post about. PH and kids are enjoying snow and skiing out West. Work has become very acrimonious over the past two days. The good new is that as of next Wednesday I will be done. The bad news of the job situation is longer than my kid's list to Santa and includes personal attacks by administrators who still demand that all will be handled their way to the detriment of some of the students. I'm just trying to wrap it all up as soon as I can because this has become a nightmare. I can honestly say that as a criminal lawyer I was treated with more respect, paid more, and there were less expectations on my personal time. I understand not all schools are alike but I now understand those parents who chose to homeschool their children.

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

For two months, PH has been sending our resumes to selected jobs in Europe and for two months for the most part, we have heard nothing. A handful of thanks by no thanks letters, but for the majority of positions, no response. Until today.

PH received an email from a large international corporation in GERMANY requesting additional information about his experience and his salary. It's still way too early in the process to believe this is the job but I can't help but be a bit hopeful at the response. Someone out there is hearing my Christmas plea.

So feel free to leave any advice on dealing with international corporations in Germany. Before PH leave for Colorado on Wednesday, he has an email to which he must respond.

Two weeks

Two weeks until the end of the quarter. Although I will be returning with the students in January, my stay is only for a couple of weeks (possibly two) and then I am done. As the end of the semester is approaching, the behavior of students is escalating and I am more sure than ever of my decision. Besides the normal increase in talking and inability to pay attention, there has been a cheating scandal and a prank involving urine. Yes, that is urine; yes, at a high school; yes at a private, college prepatory high school where parents are paying beaucoup money to send their little angels. sigh.

Besides the school drama, life at home is a bit busy at I pack up PH and the children so they can leave for a skiing trip to Colorado on Tuesday. Notice that I am not going, instead to be replaced by my MIL on the trip, as I have to stay at school for more pranks involving body fluids. Really, I'm not a bit bitter.

Instead, I will be finishing my grades, completing the Christmas shopping and gift wrapping, and possibly have a glass of wine in front of the Christmas tree with the air conditioner on 60F(15C) so I can at least pretend it's winter. It appears my Christmas spirit has been replaced by sarcasm and the occasional eye roll. Looks like a stick in the stocking for Hexe this year.

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow

I wish we would have a "snow day" so I could spend time doing this stuff instead of grading papers

Very, very, very tired

Forgive the lack of blogging. Work is insane and they have asked me to stay on a couple more weeks in January if necessary :( I don't feel as though I can refuse, but after that I'm done. I'm so tired at this point, I can barely put together a coherent sentence. And only 27 days until Christmas and my entire family arriving here!

It's a Small World

The Morning Visitor

Let the Magic Begin . . .
My Favorite Ride
A Visit to Another Land
An Escape from the Parents
Yet, Another Distant Land - LegoLand

We came, we saw, we now have to make Thanksgiving dinner for 23

This is where my photos from Mouseland should be so that I do not have to write anything as (1) I am exhausted from Mouseland, (2) PH has had migraine since leaving Mouseland and I have spent the day trying to keep small children quiet, (3) the bug man sprayed today which means small children could not go in the yard (see (2) and you understand the dilemma), (4) 23 people are arriving in less than 48 hours and are expecting large, traditional dinner, and (5) photos from Disney remind me that since the school year has begun I have put on a ton of weight (no, seriously - a ton) and this is rather depressing.

Instead, blogger is failing and you get whining and disappointment. Sorry.

Off to Mouseland

We have never taken our children to Disney. I understand we have broken some Florida state law by depriving our children of the phenomena. We had this belief that the children should be old enough to actually enjoy it. Having reached the ages of almost six and almost four, we have decided it's time. I have next week off and tomorrow we leave for the Land of the Mouse for four days. Right now the kids only know we are going on a trip. You will probably hear their screams of delight when we tell them. I'll be bringing the computer so I'll try to download a couple photos in between running between parks. I wonder if Mickey serves wine?

For Claire

I have been tagged by Claire over in Germany. She wants to know seven Random and/or Weird Things about me. Me, a rather boring attorney turned teacher about to be full time mother. Thanks Claire!

1. I can still do a cartwheel and a handstand at age 38. All those years of gymnastics make me impressive to my five year old daughter.


2. My parents brain-washed me as a kid and I have a vast and frightening knowledge of old country and western lyrics. To this day, I know all the words to "Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys", "Reuben James", "She Stopped Loving Me Today", and "I Believe in You."


3. When I travel, I always visit a local grocery store and spend at least an hour looking at all the different items.


4. As a kid I had to go to a speech therapist for slurring and I stuttered when I spoke publicly through college. The stuttering just stopped in law school.


5. I think living without a change of season and mountains is soul destroying.


6. I chew on pens. It helps me think.


7. My middle name is Angela; the derivative of the name being Angel; I think my parents understood the use of sarcasm.

Now, according to the rules, I must now tag three other. Here are the rules which you must abide by if you are tagged.

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.

3. Tag 3 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).

4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

I will tag: Expat Travels, Merisi, Sunshine, and anyone else who wants to join in.

Job update: I have given notice and will stop teaching in January. I can only make two observations about this most recent experience (1) January is still a long ways off and (2) this period will not be pleasant.

Two Roads Diverged . . .

I need to make a decision and soon. This job of teaching was suppose to become easier this year - I am no longer new, and I have materials now, and I've done some of it before. Yet, I am still working nearly every evening and on the weekend too. Some is me I'm sure, but some is that instead of replacing a teacher who left last year they increased the number of students in my classes, and put me in charge of a year-round student activity, and I still teach Advanced Placement classes and my scores have to remain high. I have tried to manage this - working mornings and nights so I do not have to work on weekends, trying to only work one or two weekend a month and leaving my nights free. Nothing has worked. The end result is that I am exhausted, slightly insane, and have little quality time with my family. I know this is a dilemma faced by many working women, but I am lucky enough that I can chose not to work. Wealthy we're not, but comfortable yes, and my pittance of a salary does little in the way of contributing to our overall family budget. So I need to make a decision - I've always worked, always contributed financially, and have always known that if needed, I could independently and financially survive. Not working outside the home seems as though I failed, that I was incapable of being a good mother and a good employee at the same time. I feel like a traitor. Yet I know that I am missing too much - too many of those moments of childhood that I can't recapture and I feel physically ill and tears gather when I think about it. I NEED TO MAKE A DECISION.

Her eyes were closed, but the tears were glistening on her cheeks, and I think, in a moment more, they were in my eyes as well. It never really died, then-- the soul that can suffer so excruciatingly and so interminably; it withers to the outward eye only; like that strange moss which can lie on a dusty shelf half a century and yet, if placed in water, grows green again.

-Willa Cather
A Wagner Matinee