The Apocalypse

I'm just warning those who read this blog, I know the end of the world must be near. There are certain events that happen which prophesize the day of reckoning. Tonight, one of those events occurred.

It was an ordinary night. We needed some vegetables for dinner. I went to the store sans kids - they were riding the lawn mower with PH. I waved and tooted the horn as I drove to the store. I found my vegetables and paid for them. I knew PH had not picked up a lottery ticket and the Florida Lottery is $18 million. With the thought of wasting a dollar, I stopped at the store clerk's desk under the Florida Lottery sign. A young women came over and took my numbers and then it happened. She looked at me and said "Can I see your ID?"

Lost in the thoughts of making dinner, it took a few moments for this phrase to register.

"I'm sorry," I stammered.

Again, she repeat "Your ID?"

Dazed, I handed her my driver's license, murmuring, "But I'm 38 years old."

She looked at my ID, and then back at me, and replied, "Wow, you look really good for your age. I wasn't sure if you were old enough to buy a lottery ticket."

Tonight I was carded for the first time in nearly fifteen (okay, twenty) years. I'm telling you, it's all over.

Nothing New to Report

I haven't disappeared or been kidnapped by aliens; I've just been busy. Between working, family, searching for jobs, sending out resumes, and putting the wood floor in the last room in the house, I am tired and it is beginning to show. My patience is limited and my frustration seems to be growing daily. Because I feel some sort of responsibility not to whine publicly, my posts may continue to be a bit sparse. I am still reading all of your blogs and leave comments, but I am uninspired for the moment. Additionally, every non-working moment is spent doing whatever I can to getting us out of here. None of the jobs applied to are a quick decision, but instead may take a few months to even complete the hiring process which makes me cry in frustration. I'm ready NOW, why isn't the rest of the world?

Yet another reason to leave Florida

WARNING!!!!!!! I preface this with the warning that if you are one of those animal lovers who believe that all creatures are equal and should not be smashed with a shovel, then stop reading now. You've been fairly warned so no comments about my cruelty to animals.

Yesterday was a typical Monday - deviant students, half completed homework, classes, correcting papers. At the end of the day, I picked up my own children and raced off campus as though chased by Satan himself. As we arrived home, the kids were delighted. There was a package from our friends in Norway with some Elias the Tugboat DVDs and newly knitted doll clothes (Tusen Takk Gru!). Additionally, a CD of The Sound of Music had arrived after weeks of off-key singing:

So long! Farewell! Auf wiedersehen, good night, I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu, Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.

The kids were delighted to have the "real thing" and not just my tone deaf contribution.

As it was a "cool" 89, I agreed when the kids asked to play in the backyard. As they ran out across the screen porch, there was a sudden stop and hollering. There on the porch was a snake. Yes, it was only a little over a foot long, BUT IT WAS A SNAKE on my friggin' porch. I quickly hauled the kids back inside as I do not know the difference between a rat snake and a cotton mouth. Throughout the afternoon, the kids gazed out the glass doors and gave a running commentary on the snake's location.

An hour or so later, PH arrived home and with trepidation, we all approached the lanai so PH could perform his duty. Disposal of snakes is not, and never will be, on my list of duties. PH, trying to avoid a sleepless night filled with children's screams over nightmares, tried to shoo the snake out the screen door. The snake, not recognizing the universal sign of waiving of a manila folder as a peaceful request to leave, reared up and rattled its tail. That did it. Out came the shovel, a few well placed whacks, and the snake was obliterated with the kids watching on and cheering their brave daddy.

Just add this experience to the list - I don't think I need to tell you which list!

Pass the Apple-tinis

After this week, I am ready to send a majority of my students off the some abandoned desert area in New Mexico. The whining, pouting, bad language, disrespectful back talking, dramatic girl fights, condescending eye rolling has finally pushed me over the edge. Even my advanced classes pulled this crap today. I'm thinking that rather than correcting essays this weekend, I'll enter all my students names into the running for the next season of Kid Nation and hope they'll be sent to the next forsaken location. At least by reducing their numbers, I may be able to tolerate the remaining whining.

Apple-tinis

Just because it was 98 degrees here today, doesn't mean I can't pretend it's autumn. A little sugar, cinnamon, cloves, lemon, apple cider, and dark spiced rum and voila, an apple-tini. Tastes like a sour apple with a sweet kick. Beware however that after three, it has taken me fifteen minutes to type this.

The sugar and cinnamon edged glass.
The final product after chilling with the Halloween warning.

Yum!

An Exciting Friday Night

Currently Boston is playing the Yankees. As a good New Englander, I support the Sox but PH is a die hard Yankees fan. Both of us have made various attempts to brainwash our children. Right now they are claiming they like the Yankees, but they were Red Sox fans this summer.

After a lengthy week at work, I am sitting on the couch, in my tee shirt and comfortable shorts, with my hair in a giant pony tail on my head watching baseball, cheering for the Sox partly because I am good New Englander and partly because it will annoy PH if Boston kicks some Yankee butt. I don't even like baseball. I really need a life . . .

The Beginning

After months (years) of talking, debating, assessing, analyzing, arguing, and evaluating, we have finally begun. We had decided that we would start sending out resumes at beginning of the new year and then we became aware of two positions being advertised now. Positions that seem to fit all of PH's requirements (and mine) - positions far away from this state, requiring an English speaking attorney in an American corporation, across an ocean, for a defined period that can be extended, in a place where we don't speak the language but it snows. In less than fifteen minutes, we decided that it didn't matter if we applied now or in January, we were both ready. So today, after a week of writing, rewriting, editing, revising, and with a kiss for luck, the first resume packet went out. It will shortly be followed by a second one, hopefully by the end of next week. Additionally, more positions have been found and more packets will be sent out.

I cried with relief.

We have a wonderful life here, but for years I have been ready to leave. I feel like I must justify why we want to leave. After all, we're not sure where we want to go so is this just a case of the grass is always greener? And we have security here, especially financially. Why throw that away for the unknown, my family (the only people who know about this) ask. So we should remain out of fear? We have remained here only for PH's job and that is no longer enough. I am grateful for it - it has allowed us opportunities and given us a safety net. I am ready for some calculated risk. I'll never be one who will put all my cares to the wind, but I am ready for this change we have been planning for so long.

The odds of any of these early resumes being "the one" is slim. This move will bring with it some substantial changes - I'll probably be a "haus frau" for awhile; but after this last year where my own family's needs have been sacrificed for ten months out of year so I can tend to the needs of other children, I am looking forward to this change. And maybe, there's another career path for me? Financially we will being saving less. I'll probably freak out and second guess and become frustrated with my lack of language skills and the cultural change. I wonder how my children will adapt? But I look forward to this challenge and finding out whether the expat life is an option for us. I wish I could control the racing thoughts, the "what if"s, my incessant need to know how it ends and to control it all. And yet, I am thrilled by the unknown. I wish I had the crystal ball that gave me the "right" answer; I'm not sure I believe there is "right" answer. I also wish I could say this all out loud here so it was more real. Leading this double life is hard. Pretending to be part of a community while looking for the exit door.

I wish I could keep this blog all about photos and tales of places far away. Fun stuff. Unfortunately for now, real life is keeping me pretty damn busy. And periodically, I need some place to say all the things I wish I could say out loud. This is what this blog has become when I'm not forcing myself to keep it all light.

So feel free to give me advice, to tell me I'm crazy for leaving, to encourage me to go, to assess all the good and bad of change and growth and moving. You'll only be adding to what I'm already thinking. And thanks to all of those who have already giving me some to think about by writing your blogs and responding to my emails.

Trying to Smell the Roses

Here is my effort to begin this week in a more positive light then how I ended it. Just trying to smell the roses while avoiding the thorns!

They said . .

They said it would be easier the second year; after all, I had everything I taught the first year to reuse. They said I wouldn't have to work so many hours and give up a majority of nights and weekends. What they failed to say was that I was getting two new classes and an extra twenty students, a new administration, a different and more encompassing extra curricular activity to supervise, and I was to mentor another new teacher. They wouldn't admit that past disrespectful behavior of the parents has become a predictable pattern that they will continue to allow. They not only failed to notice that my students from last year performed substantially above the national average on some standardized test, but instead termed the school's results as "humiliating" as other departments did not fare so well. They have not yet offered one compliment in my division to any teacher, and instead, have attacked those of us who have discovered student cheating as being "overbearing" all the while reminding us that we need to set a high bar for performance. They still have not provided an affordable health care plan as was promised last year. They have yet to receive all of the books ordered last spring so substantive materials are being taught with no books nor any other materials. They are not a public school, but instead one of the most expensive, well known private schools in the area.

I see articles like this one discussing a teacher shortage and I understand. The pay, the lack of benefits, the disrespect, and the pressure make a teacher shortage a reality. I know for myself that I will be part of the statistic that leaves in less than three years. I have options and this "job" is not worth it. And if you are one of those idealist who say teaching is a "calling" and that I would continue if I really loved the students, maybe that's true. But as a women with my own young children, my first priority is my own family and they suffer while I teach. For me, the cost is too great.

School Round Up

We have been back at school for two weeks and suffered through exhaustion (both Hew and myself but generally it is only Hew whose weekly fit includes sobbing and throwing himself to the ground), a straddling fall on the balance beam that resulted in a big bruise on the inner thigh (KK), nightly homework in kindergarten (KK), and a slide across a freshly waxed floor and near fall in front of a class of obnoxious, snickering teenagers (me). Thought I'd share some of the verbal highlights:

Me after the first day: "Hew, what was your favorite part of the day?"
Hew with great excitement: "Ridding the bus - it goes real fast and there's no seat belt!"
-How comforting.

"Mrs. Hexe, you are the only one smiling in this classroom."
-said by evil, miserable teenagers as I walked to the front of the classroom to begin class on day three.

Preschool morning song sung by Hew and his classmates: "Good morning Jacob! How are you? Who is sitting next to you?"
Jacob responds "Hew."
Class sings: "Good morning Hew! How are you? Who is sitting next to you?"
Hew's responds: "Him."

"All my friends wore red for red day. One friend even wore red underwear. She showed us and then my other friend showed us his underwear and they were black! Then my teacher said no more showing our underwear!"
-Hew explaining how red day went in class. At least they all now know the colors red and black!

"Today, we had so much fun! And tomorrow will be even more fun!"
-KK about kindergarten. I don't think this what my intolerable teens are thinking!

Two weeks down, forty to go!

Photo Tour of Bergen

Yesterday, we ended the first week back at school with an hour wait in the pediatrician's office. When we went to pick up Hew's inoculation record for school, it was discovered that he had been given one shot too early and it would have to be redone to comply with the state requirements. Hew was a trooper and not one tear was shed. We celebrated the end of the first week of school and Hew's bravery with some ice cream. I have to admit that already I am planning my next escape. So for inspiration, the second installation of the Norway photos.

During our time in Bergen we stayed at the lovely Solstrand Hotel. The hotel is located about 20 minutes south of Bergen, directly on a fjord, in the quaint village of Os. This was a perfect choice for us as we wanted to see Bergen, but wanted some quiet time to relax.

Os is home to the The Oselvar Boatyard which builds boats and continues the ancient handicraft of building these small, clinker built wooden boats. At The Oselvar Boatyard, young boat builders learn the handicraft of building boats in the oselvar tradition from the older boat builders.

And of course, if you have a boat, you will need to store it in the winter.

After some relaxing time is Os, we headed into the City. Bergen has over 225 000 inhabitants and is a UNESCO world heritage city. This is view from above Bergen which is captured by a city webcam.

Down below, just past the fishmarket, the traditional tenement housing still stands along the harbor Vagen. The harbour quarter shows the row houses that were rebuilt after a fire in 1702 that destroyed most of the original area.

Most of these former homes are now shops and offices, thus giving it a very touristy feel. However the narrow passageways remind you how close and confining it must have been to live there.

Mariakirken, St Mary’s Church, is a stone church which dates back to the early 12th century, and is Bergen's oldest building.

After visiting the harbour, the museums, and the churches, I spent a quiet thirty minutes on a park bench and this was the view peeking through the trees.
One last visit to the harbour before returning to . . .
. . . The Solestrand for drinks, dinner, and perhaps a . . .
. . . swim in the fjord!

I just might shed a few tears . . .

Tomorrow is Hew's first day of pre-school. I fear a replay of two years ago when I dropped KK off for her first day. I never suspected a thing - after all, KK had gone to daycare while I worked. Yet as I walked away from the classroom, I got all mushy and such. By the time I hit the parking lot, I was sobbing as though I'd given up my first born, all the while knowing I'd be back at 2:45 P.M to retrieve the selfish little child who never even looked back when I left the classroom. It was horrific.

Now I am only across campus and I know that Hew is ever so ready, but just in case, I think I'll pack a few tissues in my pocket.

Why we have no baysitters

It has been a busy week here - I've been in teacher trainings, the kids are preparing to go back to school, PH just received a giant case to review, and of course after returning to daycare for just one week until school, both kids picked up some bug with a fever and a headache.

Also during this week, my department gathered together with spouses for a potluck dinner. It was one of the few times everyone let their hair down and we compared notes about the new administration. This meant the kids stayed home with a baysitter. Our neighborhood babysitter was not available, but one of my former students graciously agreed to stay with my monsters so I could have a night of adult conversation.

Upon returning home, my student initially reported both children had been well behaved. I sighed with relief as I was a bit fearful as to what my children might report that would then be broadcast to the school.

The next day, I ran into the student at the school. She again commented on how well behaved the kids had been. I asked if Hew had done anything inappropriate as lately he has been fascinated with his own derriere and has been sticking his butt out as a response to questions. She assured me that Hew had not been fascinated with his own bottom, but instead had been fascinated with hers - running up and smacking her on her very tiny, very cute seventeen year old bottom! I stumbled out an apology to the student and wondered how long it would take for that story to make its way around campus. And now I sit, worried that next week Hew may use the same move on his very mature, very maternal teacher.

(I attempted to find a cute but appropriate picture to accompany this post but searching images for "butt" and "spanking" led me to pictures that I prefer not accompany a post about my child. When I complained to PH about the lack of photo, he spent a good half an hour searching the exact same terms to "help." It appears that Hew came by his bottom fascination through heredity!)

New Hair

Teacher training has begun so it's a bit crazy here. Last Friday, after two years of thinking about changing the color of my hair, I finally tried to go from blonde to red. Unfortunately for me and my hairdresser, it didn't come out as planned on Friday, so back I went on Monday. I am now a red head. Here's the progression:

My blonde before coloring.


The Mistake - Not a bad color just not was intended.

And the final result!

At least now I can blame my tantrums on my hair color!

Foreshadowing

I went into school today to drop off some things for my room. Teachers return next week and the following week, students return. Guess I have to admit the party's over.

I park the car, haul the kids out of the car seats, take a dozen step, and then slip and fall to the ground, twisting my ankle. This is made worse by the fact that I am wearing sneakers and am only carrying my purse. Currently I sit with a frozen bag of corn on my swollen foot.

An ominous start for the year. Can't help but wonder if the universe is trying to tell me I should have stayed in law.

Pictures

Please ignore whinny post from yesterday - this is just the readjustment period after returning from elsewhere. So instead of self centered bitching - pictures!

The first few days were spent in Haugesund.

"Haugesund was first heard of when Snorre Sturlasson mentioned it in 1217 in connection with the death of Harald Hårfagre (in the year 930). At present the town has a population of 30,000 and is a regional centre with a lot to offer in the fields of culture, commerce and services. The surrounding area served by the regional centre has a population of 160,000 people and comprises Haugalandet, Sunnhordaland and parts of Ryfylke and Hardanger. With the North Sea as its closest neighbour Haugesund is strongly dependent on the earning potential provided by the sea, a fact that leaves its mark on the town. Oil, gas and maritime activities and courses and conferences are important to the town's economy in addition to commerce."
-http://www.visitnorway.com/templates/NTRarticle.aspx?id=41719

Downtown Haugesund at night

Downtown Haugesund during the day.

One night after dinner with PH's host family, they took us for a boat ride on the fjord outside their home. The shore was decorate with lovely homes and scenery. My photos do not do it justice.
Views overlooking Haugesund - lots of green and lots of water.

The Norwegian National Monument, Haraldshaugen, commemorates the unification of Norway under Harald Hårfagre.
At the monument was this stone cross, demonstrating the conversion to Christianity. PH's host family explained that soon after the cross was erected, a violent storm snapped it in half and it was put back together with the steel bars at the base. The family had some interesting theories about the breaking of the cross.
This is St. Olav's Church. King Håkon Håkonsson erected the St. Olav’s Church around 1250 AD as part of the royal farm on Avaldsnes. Next to the church stands one of Norway’s tallest pillars, “Jomfru Marias synål” (Virgin Mary’s Sewing Needle). (http://wikitravel.org/en/Haugesund)

According to legend, when the pillar touches the church wall it means the end of the world. PH's host family explained that parts of the top have been chipped off in order to preserve the world.
The front door of the church is covered in this metal from World War II that was to prevent damage.

At the church, we ran into a cycling tour.
One evening, we hiked to an abandoned lighthouse with PH's host brother to watch the sun set over the fjord. This picture was taken at 11:20 P.M.
On the way to the lighthouse, there is a a monument to those who drowned in a 1999 sinking of a passenger ferry.
Not wanting us to miss any of the sights, we were also taken to the copper museum in Visnes. "Visnes is on the island Karmøy. The copper mine closed in 1972." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visnes)
These were the compartments in which three workers were lowered into the mines. These compartments were then filled with the copper and sent back up. It appears it would be a tight fit.

This is where they were lowered into the ground.
This is where the copper for the Statue of Liberty was initially found. You can still see the impact of the copper in the area by looking at the rocks and the discoloration.
And that completes your tour of Haugesund. Have a lovely day!

Bad Day

Woke up panicked that a year is a really long time and that we still have a year left before we can leave.

Tried to shake off feeling of dread by taking kids outside to ride bikes. Neighbor kid set off fire crackers at 9:00 A.M. Since July 4th when Hew was exposed to very loud cannons going off randomly, he has panicked every time he hears a loud bang. Needless to say the bike ride was immediately abandoned. Didn't care cause it was already 90 friggin' degrees and humid.

PH sent email that he is having a crap day at work.

Am either going to crawl back into bed and pull covers over head or cash in savings and buy a one way ticket to the coldest place I can find. Suggestions people?

Just for Antipo and another random picture

Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Cheesecake

1 9 oz package chocolate wafer cookies

3 Tblsp butter melted

12 oz Semisweet choc chips

1 cup heavy cream

3/4 cup Raspberry jam

2 8 oz packages cream cheese, softened

3/4 cup sugar

4 Eggs

2 tsp vanilla

Fresh raspberries and powdered sugar to decorate

Grind cookies to a fine powder, mix with the butter and press into the bottom and up the sides about an inch of a 9" spring form pan (or 2 7" pans). Refrigerate while making the filling.

Combine the chips and cream in a microwave safe bowl and heat at high for 3 to4 minutes or until smooth. Stir every minute. Mix in the jam, stirring until dissolved, let cool 10 minutes.

Mix the cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Add the eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each egg. Add the vanilla and the chocolate raspberry mixture. Mix well. Bake 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hours at 325 or until cake is set around the edges but still jiggles slightly in the center. Cool and put in the fridge for at least 6 hours. Before serving decorate with fresh raspberries and powdered sugar.

A Birthday Celebration

This week was PH's birthday. His only request was a cake. So the kids and I made a chocolate raspberry cheesecake which was delicious ending to a meal of garlic scallion chicken lo mein and sweet plum wine. Yum!




















And now a random picture of Norway because I'm refusing to admit the vacation is over - So there!

Le Tour - R rated, Not suitable for children?

****WARNING - Soapbox rant to follow

Hew: Why are the men on tv mad?

Me: Why do you think they are mad?

Hew: They sound really mad? Why are they really mad?

Me: Well . . . (should I have even turned on the race this morning with the kids or should I have censured the race and checked the results at nap time?) . . .the man in the yellow jersey took some medicine that didn't belong to him and the men are mad he did that.

Hew: Why?

Me (definitely should have left the tv off this morning) : Well, he wanted to win the race so he lied to his team about where he was?

Hew: What about the medicine? How did he take someones medicine?

What I said: The man wanted to win and he did bad things to do that. You never lie and you never take someone else's medicine. Okay?

What I wanted to say:

First, Hew I'm not some crazed athlete or fan. When I was home on maternity leave with you, I was bored out of my mind and then I found this race on tv - Le Tour. While I sat nursing you, I was transported to quaint French towns and steep Alps and these insane guys were biking it all. Soon I was hooked, cheering for Lance and Leipheimer, admiring Hincapie for his dedication and self sacrifice, feeling Ulrich's frustration - we spent the days cheering at the tv, reeling from the beautiful scenery.

Last year when visiting your Uncle in France, we had the opportunity to attend the Prologue - the opening day of the Le Tour. It was exhilarating and fun and your father and I swore to each other that one day we'd rent a camper and follow the entire tour one day. The physical strength and mental determination needed to complete this race is unexplainable and overwhelming. All in such a gorgeous place that if I were racing I'd stop just to look around at the snow capped Alps. At the end of the Tour when Landis tested positive I suspected foul play with the lab. Yet when the B test came back positive, it became harder to deny he'd cheated.

This year has seen lying, positive drug tests, an arrest, whole teams withdrawing, and an increased distrust in all of the riders. The sport has been declared dead. In a society that is know for the promotion of win at all costs, this should not be shocking. Yet for the cheesy fans like me, it's horribly disappointing. I am more impressed with those racing clean - not only are they enduring physical pain and mental hurdles, but they accept having their integrity questioned due to other rider's actions. I hope Hew that by the time you actually understand these scandals this sport has cleansed itself, but I fear that instead, the drugs will become more sophisticated and more difficult to trace.

So to those racing clean - thank you for the fun and the excitement. It is amazing to watch what the human body is capable of performing. And to those choosing to taint the sport in which they participate, you tell me how to explain your shameful behavior to a three year old.

**** climbing down now