Friday Feast

Appetizer: What are you proud of?
I am proud of my family, of my insatiable need to continually learn, and of my stubbornness.

Soup: What is the best thing you’ve ever won as a prize?
When I was twelve my grandfather put my name into a drawing and I won a ten speed bike. it was baby blue and I thought I was all that and a bag of chips with the handle bar breaks. When I was in law school I won a mock trial competition and a set of law books with enthralling titles such as Opening Statements, Evidence, and Trial Preparation. I used the bike more than the books.

Salad: Name something you do that is a waste of time.
Bathe my children. Why bother - ten minutes later they are covered in dirt or food.

Main Course: In what year of your life did you change the most?
The year my daughter was born. Before that it was all about me, all of the time. Within six weeks of her birth, I changed jobs to work part time, and went from putting criminals in jail to representing them.

Dessert: Where is a place you consider to be very tranquil?
Any mountain - the Austrian Alps, Mt. Battie and Mount Katahdin in Maine, the White Mountains in New Hampshire, the Swiss Alps. A quiet hiking trail, a picnic of water, fruit, chocolate, and cheese, and cool air.

Oh, the romance . . .

PerfectHusband reads post that is below and then read the comment by the wonderful and talented Ms. Mac. PH turns to wife and says "If you fly British Airways to London and die at least you'll get to ride in first class . . . and I'll get stuck with the bill for it." I die and all he is worried about is the fecking bill for first class. Despite the 80 degree weather here, it will be a mighty cold night at Hexe's house.

Suggestions

Only 46 more school days until summer break. I know I sound like an over-anxious teenager, but in reality I am an overworked teacher who is ready for a break. This year has not been what I expected but I don't know if anything could have prepared me for this year. Every teacher not affiliated with the school where I teach claim that in their multiple years of teaching they have never experienced what I have this year. At least that gives me hope that another school may be a very different circumstance.

I still have not planned my four days away that PH's trip to Arizona entitled me too. I intend to take the four days right after school gets out but I still have not planned it. So far, I have looked at a eco-hotel with cooking classes in Nova Scotia, Quebec, Toronto, and Vermont, as well as whether I could get a direct flight to London (otherwise not worth it for four days). Thankfully, we have miles earned and vouchers from a previous flight so I am not worried about price, but more worried about time. I know previously some of you suggested places in the South but I really just want to escape from the South just to remind myself that there is hope and I will not be living here forever. At least that is what I keep telling myself. So any more ideas - I need to some motivation.

The Mother-In-Law

When PH and I decided to wed, I really didn't consider that cliche that by marrying him I was marrying his family. PH's family is insane - six siblings and all raised by my MIL after a brutal divorce from FIL and FIL has gone on to three additional wives and various adopted children and step-children. Generally, there is no communicating between the various sides of the war, but my house is Switzerland. We host the holidays and invite everyone - while you're here, you put the past shit aside and get along. There is some grumbling but it works, and generally I drink a couple glasses of wine on these days and ignore the passive aggressive bitching.

This is where MIL and I differ. The women is the Queen of passive aggressive behavior, whereas I tend towards erupting like a volcano when I have reached my threshold, and then hashing it out. On top of MIL's "helpful little suggestions," I have come to learn that her children are perfect, and the various spouses are not. As a spouse I take exception to the idea that PH is perfect and any faults demonstrated by him are a result of marrying me. Because of the Queen status, this is never directly stated to me, but hints are given and when that doesn't work MIL tells other members of the family how poor PH has suffered due to my ineptitude. I, in turn, get to hear about how PH's siblings suffer due their spouses incompetence.

I continue to encourage PH and my kids to have a relationship with MIL because I am selfish. Children learn what they see. When I am a senile, obnoxious, old bag, I want my children to remember that they saw me continue to try with MIL and know they have an obligation to still see me. So with that theory in mind, I invited MIL with us to the beach for four days.

Overall, it was good to have her with us. I got sick the day we were to leave for the beach and MIL and PH took the kids for a couple hours so I could empty my stomach before crawling into the back seat of the car between two car seats and riding three hours through Orlando traffic (it was a VERY bad ride). Additionally, MIL did offer and take the children on a few occasions so PH and I had a few hours to ourselves, which was very considerate. It wasn't that the other stuff didn't happen, it did, but some I've learned to ignore and some I save to share with PH. But it was this weekend that I got to see that MIL isn't always going to be around.

MIL is obese - not just overweight - hoarding food, no exercise obese. Her weight impairs her mobility and keeps her from being able to do what she would like to do. At the beach, we stayed at a condo that was no more than a five minute walk from the resort and pool. It was slightly uphill, but PH and I walked with both kids several times and never thought twice about it. MIL always called a shuttle for a ride. One time, she actually waited forty minutes with the kids and me rather than walk the five minutes. Seeing this scared me - I need to get my butt out of the chair and get rid of the twenty pounds that came with the kids. I refuse to let my weight keep me from doing all the activities I intend to do before I die. More importantly, seeing her helped me to understand that even though I will never be "good enough" for her and she will continue to favor one of my children over the other (a subject for another time), she will not always be able to go where we intend to be. If she continues, there will reach a point where travel will not be an option for her. Considering that her grandchildren and children now live on two continents and varying states, I feel sorry for her. I guess this means I'll invite everyone, including MIL to both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.

Photo Tour of the Beach

The View From our Condo.

The Beach.

The Lazy River at the Pool

The Pool

One of the many shells

Proof that we were not alone.

Shaving Cream according to Hew

My Final Resting Spot

Nothing new

After a week, I should have something to write about, but I have nothing. I have been grading like a crazy person and doing lesson plans. Thursday we are leaving for the beach for four days - The kids, PH, and MIL. I hope to more later this week but for now nada. Hope your week is more interesting than mine.

Almost done . . .

Thirty-six papers read. Six to go. Insanity catching up quickly.

Just a thought . . .

After having been married for more than six years, Perfect Husband and I readily recognize each other flaws. I do not adapt easily. I know that change causes me stress which results in me raging and ranting during the adjustment. It is not pretty and I know it.

Perfect Husband also recognizes this character flaw and as recently as last night expressed his concerns about an overseas move. How will I deal with the inevitable feelings of stress at moving somewhere unknown, where it is unlikely that I will speak the language, and I will be working at a new job? (An aside here - Before meeting PH, I did move across country by myself to start a new job at a place where I had no connections and miraculously did manage.)

Yet, was it me snipping into the phone at some poor service worker as to why there was no technical support available ON A SUNDAY to help PH with his new Blackberry? It appears that I won't be the only one needing stress management when we move.

The swing of the pendulum

Received in the forty plus research papers and promptly got the stomach flu that KK had. The flu hit so fast that I actually had to run out of a class I was teaching to be sick. Have determined that I must now be dying as the sight of chocolate turns my stomach.

What I've been doing in my spare time

A little less than a year ago, we decided to pull up the old nasty carpet in our house and replace it with a wood floor. After several heart stopping quotes, PH and I decided to put down the floor ourselves - one room at a time. We were half way through the house when I started my new job in August and since then, the floor project laid dormant. We blamed my job, but part of our inertia was due the fact that the next room to do was the family room which is the largest room.

Last Sunday, after I finished my first 23 research papers (46 will be coming in on Wednesday so service will then again be interrupted), we decided to pull up the rug and put in the floor working every night after work. Never mind that my sister and her family were coming in a week for a visit before heading to Mouseland. Never mind that I was cooking for fourteen the following weekend. It was time. Here is our progress the first night . . .



Night one!






AND FIVE DAYS LATER . . .






Although we are tired, it is done and the last three rooms are substantially smaller. We still have trim work to do, but I am quite impressed with our work.

After Friday night, I still had to cook for fourteen. I made chicken breasts in a sauce of tomatoes, onion, thyme, parsley, and wine, with baby red potatoes grilled with olive oil, thyme and parsley, and some blanched green beans. I was so busy that I only snapped one picture while I was making the sauce.

But I didn't forget to take a couple pictures of the pear and chocolate tart.

Unfortunately, after all the working, cooking, and visiting, KK came down with the stomach flu and I am now cleaning bed linens. Ma belle vie!

Temporary Break

I will be back but I am currently buried under a stack of research papers that need to be corrected. Also, for some insane reason, we tore up the carpet in the family room and are laying wood floors down. Someday, I will be back . . .

Near Escape

A very busy week and I don't see a let up in the next couple weeks. Yuck.

We finally returned Hammy the hamster, but not without problems. Last Sunday night, the deviant hamster from hell made a dash for freedom at two freakin' o'clock in the morning. Even without wayward rodents, I hate Sunday nights. I can never get to sleep - my mind races with all the things that need to be completed in the up-coming week.

Before Hammy's break, I spent the first two hours in bed tossing and turning, making numerous lists of things that I will never accomplish. The next hour, I listened to PH snore. PH's snoring is not consistent. The volume increases until he nearly gags himself whereupon he wakes himself up, only to turn over and continue snoring whether on his back, his stomach, or his side. After numerous attempts to stop the variant decibel snoring, I finally went to the couch to sleep.

I had just dozed off after acknowledging that I would only have four hours of sleep to start my week, when I woke to the clatter of plastic hitting the tile floor in the laundry room. Damn Hammy, I thought as I stumbled to check on the freakin' hamster like the third child I never wanted. I flip on the laundry room light and the evil rodent is perched on the top of his cage and he has knocked off the lid. As Hammy sees me, his eyes widen with the knowledge that his escape plan has been foiled and he runs down the tube to hide in his exercise wheel. Damn rodent. I duct taped his cage back together.

Hopefully, this Sunday night will just be a normal sleepless Sunday.

Priceless . . .

Making a post on a lazy Saturday and immediately receiving responses from people around the world. Thanks.

The Week's Run-Down

This week:

• We had a few days with temperatures below fifty degrees. I actually wore a jacket and people here thought the world was coming to an end. It was wonderful!



• It rained. For me, it was such a nice change to see rain until I saw the pictures from a city less than an hour away from us. These poor people have lost everything. I won't be wishing for rain again anytime soon.



• We are currently babysitting the hamster from KK's pre-school. "Hammy" is a round, over-fed little bugger. I fear that he will become stuck in the narrow, little tubes protruding from his cage. And PH already yelled that Hammy was not in his cage and after a frantic search, we found him mid-tube. Pray we don't kill the damn thing before his return to pre-school on Monday. KK would never live it down.



• As I was driving yesterday, a vulture flew into the path of my windshield and despite attempting to brake, I hit the friggin' thing. Just a small ding to the windshield, but PH is still laughing at my driving skills and the irony of hitting a vulture.



• KK and Hew are in competition for the world record for the most consecutive days bickering. I may be institutionalized soon.



• At the ripe old age of two, Hew has announced his career choice - Trash Man. He explained that the Trash Man gets to ride on the back of the truck AND wear his hat backwards. What more could one need in life. . .
  

So, what was your career choice as a child? Happy Weekend!

The Queen of Planning

The Queen of Planning should really be my title. It's not enough that I am constantly planning our escape from this state in eighteen month [well, really sixteen months and ten days, but who's counting :)], but it appears that I have become my entire family planner.

This weekend, I arranged for my family's various summer flights, car rental, and a hotel in Norway. My sister and her family will be visiting Mouseland at the end of February so I planned a dinner at my house for her and her brood, and my grandmother, her 87 year old boyfriend (don't ask!), and my aunt, uncle, and cousin all who live about an hour from here.

Then, I received another call from sister who had been talking to to my parents. It seems that instead of a fortieth anniversary party in August, my parents want a family trip to celebrate - WITH ALL OF US! That is eight adults and five children, ages two, three, five, six, and nine. The only available time that everyone can schedule the trip is the week after Christmas. And of course, since I am the Queen of Planning, the trip has been dumped on my doorstep. I say "dumped," but in reality I don't mind as it gives me some control as to where we go.

So here's the parameters - it must be warm, preferable the Caribbean, possibly an inclusive sort of place, accessible from Boston and Florida, big enough to accommodate 8 adults and five children, with a kitchen so we don't always have to take the kids out, and it must be the week after Christmas. What I have run into so far is that the cost between Christmas and New Years increases at most resorts at least three fold. I have one lead in the Dominican Republic that looks promising, but I'm hoping for some assistance in blogger world - places people can recommend or places to go with thirteen of your family members (yes, hell does seem to be the most accurate response). All this family planning has left no time to plan my Mommy free time in May, but I'm sure I'll come up with something (insert dramatic sigh here). Where's my crown?

Suggestions

As a pay back for PH's trip to Arizona, he has suggested that I take a few days away. Because of my work schedule, it doesn't appear that I can take any time until the very end of May or beginning of June. So where to go? Time period is a maximum of three to four nights. And no, I don't want to stay in Florida!

Something new

Lately, this blog has been a lot of whining and not much substance. Although I cannot promise that will change often, periodically I will be making attempts to add some "substance." The following is just some thoughts I had after reading an article in today's paper about the boys from Missouri who had recently been rescued from their kidnapper. Feel free to agree, disagree, or tell me I'm full of crap. I'm interested to hear what others think about this.


Those in “developed society” tend to frown upon the stories of women convicted for being victims of rape. Stories from Afghanistan, Pakistan, Sudan, and other countries about women being imprisoned for “zina” or unlawful sexual intercourse (which is a rather nice phrase for being violently forced to have sex) are abhorrent. The idea that someone could be jailed or sentenced to die because of being sexually abused is outrageous to the majority. These stories are a reminder that societal organizations should not be used to further victimize those who have harmed wrongly.

Why then is there a questioning outcry after two kidnapped boys from Missouri are discovered – one after nearly four years of captivity? The issue centers on the fact that this child had opportunities to use a phone and a computer, and was also seen outside of his captor's apartment, yet according to the media there were no attempts to escape. Somehow, in the court of public opinion, this has brought this child's victimization into question.

Is it necessary to remind John Q. Public of a child’s vulnerability? This child was kidnapped at age eleven and was held approximately one hour from his home. In reality, how many children age eleven could find their way home when an hour away? Additionally, a child's inability to accurately assess a situation should be noted. Children readily believe that a fat man in a red suit can slide down the chimney of every home in one night. Yet according to the media backlash in this case, a pre-teen should be able to measure the credibility of his kidnapper's words and deeds, and then act to save himself at opportune moments. It is unknown at this point what was done or said to this child, but the media questions should focus on why he was taken and what can been done to keep this offender from stealing another young life, instead of blaming the child for failing to escape.

Lately, it has become easier to blame the victim of a crime as their credibility is further questioned in the news. Through cases like the recent Duke rape case, the issue of an alleged victim's credibility are being examined. In the Duke case, the waters are furthered muddied by a prosecutor who in seeking fame, forgets his ethical responsibilities to the public. It was easier during an election year to spew words like "gang rape" and "racism" without first investigating the case. Due to a recantation and evidence issues, the focus has moved to one of blame. Because of the rush to judgment without evidence in that case, other victims of crime will suffer --their credibility will be attacked for having the audacity to report a crime that is often near impossible to prove. After all, the smart criminal chooses to commit a crime where it cannot be seen and is careful not to leave behind evidence. Thankfully, many are not so smart.

In looking at these cases, it becomes evident that “civilized society” is no different than those courts in developing nations. Instead of a criminal conviction for being raped, there is a conviction in the court of public opinion -- the child in Missouri should have done more to escape. This is the same logic used to punish the victims of rape. The only difference is that there, women are punished for the actions of their predator, whereas here, we punish the kid for the actions of the kidnapper.

Thoughts?

Still looking on the bright side

Incredibly, the good mood continues. I say "incredibly" because I have some horrid stomach virus that makes me feel tethered to the bathroom. However, I have lost almost five pounds since Friday. Not the diet plan I was going to use, but I'll take it. Hope everyone has a happy MLK day tomorrow - although I have the day off, I'll be working on lesson plans if I can break free of the tether.

A Happy Note

Back to work almost a week - still had unhappy parents and children grumbling about school, and a surprise evaluation, BUT I've just been happy. My lesson plans have gone well, the evaluation went fine, and I've been able to have a few nights where I haven't had to bring home work. Do you think the job's getting better or it's just the temperature dropping below 70 degrees that brought on my smile?

Singles Parents

I don't know how single parents manage. PH flew out early yesterday morning to Arizona. He'll be back late Tuesday and until them I'm a single parent. I've got one kid with an ear infection and another with allergies (at least that was the diagnosis Friday). Both have been good with occasional bouts of sibling dispute, but I miss sharing the load.

I've always been amazed by single parents. I know that most don't have a choice - you do it because you have to do it. I imagine that at some point I would become resentful at never having a moment to myself. All of the fights, the baths, the getting dressed, the fits, the illness, the laundry, the dishes, the late nights, and the early mornings. I know that also means you get all of the kisses, the hugs, the snuggles, the I love yous, and the attention. I admit that I'm relieved that my single parent status ends on Tuesday. And yes, we ate take-out last night!