Almost Done!

Out guests have left and it was a good visit. My children now use random french words that they picked up from their younger cousin and my niece has returned to France with an English vocabulary that is quite impressive for a not quite two year old. My daughter, concerned that she would not be able to speak with her young cousin, has asked us many questions about learning languages so it appears we have sparked an interest!

I celebrated my son's return to his own room (he was sleeping in our room during the ten days of our family visit) by becoming sick. I lost my voice and that made the last couple days of classes rather interesting with me whispering orders to my students :) I'm sure my voice will return and that my illness is more a result of exhaustion.

Friday was my last class and next week is finals. I expect it will pass rather quickly in a whirlwind of grading as the exam itself is only two hours on Monday. After my grades are in, I'm done. Fini! I will have completed my first year of teaching and I was offered a contract for next year which I have signed (I need one more year for my temporary license to become permanent). Knowing that next year I will begin looking for a different job, I have been in contact with an overseas education placement service and even though my license will not be final until next May, they have requested a resume for the fall so that I can be considered for positions for the following year. A good sign.

I am looking forward to my trip to Oregon, the first weekend in June. I fear that I may sleep most of the vacation, but I hope to rest up after this week.

Thanks to all of you who posted wishes and congratulations on my 100 post. I can't believe it's been a year. Look forward to returning to regularly posting in the near future.

100 post

I imagined that my 100 post would be insightful and witty, as I reflected on this past year blogging. Instead I 'm writing to say I will be back in two weeks. I have two weeks of classes left and I am drowning in work. Additionally, the french visitors who were to stay four days are now back for an unannounced additional week and our three year old is sleeping in our room to accommodate the visitors. I'll be reading others blogs just to escape, but I'm too exhausted to try to put together a coherent sentence. Back soon - Ta Ta!

This weekend: a dance rehearsal, a dance recital, drop car at airport, arrival of family from France, cooking for family arriving from France, laying of sod, 26 resaearch papers to grade, two quizzes to write, a cold and a partridge in a pear tree!

A Decision

So, a decision has been made. The week after I finish my first year of teaching, I will be going solo to Oregon for four nights. Oregon certainly wasn't my first thought when I began planning my escape, but a very cheap ticket and a look at pictures of the coastline convinced me otherwise. Additionally, I have never seen the West Coast and I have some unexplained aversion to California. And to top it off, I found a cooking class for one of the days and a nearby winery. So beach, books, wine, and good food - sounds perfect to me!

Interview Me

This has been making its rounds on the blogs for the last week so I had to jump on the bandwagon. Pam from American Spoken Here graciously agreed to interview me. Below are her questions and my answers. If anyone else wants to play just follow the rules.

The Rules:
Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me.''
I respond by asking you five personal questions (I will leave these questions for you in my comments) so I can get to know you better.
You will update your journal/blog /whatever, with the answers to the questions (please don't leave your answers in my comments unless you don't have a blog).
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So without further adieu (and Thank You Pam!):

1. How did you decide on 'Hexe' for your blog?
I had been to Austria and just fallen in love with the country. It was after that trip that my husband and I started the "what if" conversations. What if money were no object - where would we live then? What if we started to look for jobs overseas? What if I stopped practicing law and changed jobs so we could look for employment in two fields? What if we found jobs, could we move our kids overseas? As a result of these conversations, I began looking on-line for information about living overseas and stumbled upon blogs of expatriates. After months of being a lurker, I finally decided to start my blog. I didn't really have an intent or a plan other than to write about our hope to move soon. As we were not willing to announce to the world and my husband's job that we intend to leave in the next two years (now one year!), I needed a "code name." Because of my love of Austria, I used my German dictionary. I was just randomly flipping through it when I found the word "hexe" which is witch in German. It seemed to fit because some days I'm a good witch and I magically juggle home, work, husband, family, kids, and self and others I'm just witch (or substitute a "b" for the "w"). So Hexe I became.

2. If you could change any law, which one would you change?
Only one?! There are so many . . such as in Maine, you can marry your first cousin if you attend genetic counseling. If you're willing to marry your first cousin, then I have to imagine that genetic counseling is not the only counseling you need. Or that stealing a filled lobster trap is called molestation of a lobster trap! The tax code that more heavily penalizes the lower economic class. In Florida, if you kill a person through neglect and the deceased does not have a surviving spouse or children then no one can hold the negligent party responsible (e.g. drunken doctor kills 18 year old who is not married and has no children, parents can not bring suit). A minimum standard for universal health care. Laws that restrict the termination of parental rights - there is a presumption that the biological parent is in the best interest of the child. Biological parents who beat, torture, starve, and burn their children should not get a second chance. Okay, that's more than one - Sorry!

3. What experience of one of your grandparents do you want to make sure your children know?
My paternal grandparent's farm. As a kid I used to love to visit my grandparents and see the cows, the garden, and run in the fields. The cows are now gone but they still grow hay and keep a garden. It was great to see my kids riding on the tractor with my grandfather.

4. Your life story is a movie: who plays your part?
My husband says Felicity Huffman. I'd choose Dame Judi Dench.


5. What do you do when (you think)no one is looking?
Dance to the music in my head.

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

SEND HELP! Mother in law has arrived with numerous bags of "treasures." Children are full of Easter candy and screaming "Gramma" repetitively. More candy has also been brought into the house. Please send reinforcements!

Busy, busy, busy

The last week has been both relaxing and insane. My parents arrived Wednesday from Arizona. They are driving back to Maine after a few months of being snowbirds. Thursday, I took the kids to daycare and went to work for a few hours, then picked up the kids and brought them home to my parents, then I quickly threw some clothes into a suitcase and jumped back in the car and drove to pick up PH from work, then we drove a couple hours to the coast and checked in to a resort for forty-eight hours of child free time. In that 48 hours, we went for bike rides, went swimming, walked on the shore and stared at the ocean, went to yoga, went to a core class, ate at two restaurants, sat by the pool, had a manicure, graded papers, and read a book - it was great! Then we drove back and filled eggs and prepared for a visit from the Easter bunny. I got up at 6:00 A.M. to stop the chocolate hoarding and help find eggs. Next, we colored a dozen eggs and then spent thirty minutes and a lot of soap trying to scrub the dye off little finger. Additionally, I cooked a ten pound ham, a dozen potatoes and a meal for eleven people and then we went to my sister-in-law's house and did had an egg hunt for another fifteen plus children and I brought dessert for the meal for twenty plus people. In four days, I filled 84 eggs. Today, I said goodbye to my parents and then tried to prepare lesson plans and tests for the next week. Whew!

Friday Feast

Appetizer: What are you proud of?
I am proud of my family, of my insatiable need to continually learn, and of my stubbornness.

Soup: What is the best thing you’ve ever won as a prize?
When I was twelve my grandfather put my name into a drawing and I won a ten speed bike. it was baby blue and I thought I was all that and a bag of chips with the handle bar breaks. When I was in law school I won a mock trial competition and a set of law books with enthralling titles such as Opening Statements, Evidence, and Trial Preparation. I used the bike more than the books.

Salad: Name something you do that is a waste of time.
Bathe my children. Why bother - ten minutes later they are covered in dirt or food.

Main Course: In what year of your life did you change the most?
The year my daughter was born. Before that it was all about me, all of the time. Within six weeks of her birth, I changed jobs to work part time, and went from putting criminals in jail to representing them.

Dessert: Where is a place you consider to be very tranquil?
Any mountain - the Austrian Alps, Mt. Battie and Mount Katahdin in Maine, the White Mountains in New Hampshire, the Swiss Alps. A quiet hiking trail, a picnic of water, fruit, chocolate, and cheese, and cool air.

Oh, the romance . . .

PerfectHusband reads post that is below and then read the comment by the wonderful and talented Ms. Mac. PH turns to wife and says "If you fly British Airways to London and die at least you'll get to ride in first class . . . and I'll get stuck with the bill for it." I die and all he is worried about is the fecking bill for first class. Despite the 80 degree weather here, it will be a mighty cold night at Hexe's house.

Suggestions

Only 46 more school days until summer break. I know I sound like an over-anxious teenager, but in reality I am an overworked teacher who is ready for a break. This year has not been what I expected but I don't know if anything could have prepared me for this year. Every teacher not affiliated with the school where I teach claim that in their multiple years of teaching they have never experienced what I have this year. At least that gives me hope that another school may be a very different circumstance.

I still have not planned my four days away that PH's trip to Arizona entitled me too. I intend to take the four days right after school gets out but I still have not planned it. So far, I have looked at a eco-hotel with cooking classes in Nova Scotia, Quebec, Toronto, and Vermont, as well as whether I could get a direct flight to London (otherwise not worth it for four days). Thankfully, we have miles earned and vouchers from a previous flight so I am not worried about price, but more worried about time. I know previously some of you suggested places in the South but I really just want to escape from the South just to remind myself that there is hope and I will not be living here forever. At least that is what I keep telling myself. So any more ideas - I need to some motivation.

The Mother-In-Law

When PH and I decided to wed, I really didn't consider that cliche that by marrying him I was marrying his family. PH's family is insane - six siblings and all raised by my MIL after a brutal divorce from FIL and FIL has gone on to three additional wives and various adopted children and step-children. Generally, there is no communicating between the various sides of the war, but my house is Switzerland. We host the holidays and invite everyone - while you're here, you put the past shit aside and get along. There is some grumbling but it works, and generally I drink a couple glasses of wine on these days and ignore the passive aggressive bitching.

This is where MIL and I differ. The women is the Queen of passive aggressive behavior, whereas I tend towards erupting like a volcano when I have reached my threshold, and then hashing it out. On top of MIL's "helpful little suggestions," I have come to learn that her children are perfect, and the various spouses are not. As a spouse I take exception to the idea that PH is perfect and any faults demonstrated by him are a result of marrying me. Because of the Queen status, this is never directly stated to me, but hints are given and when that doesn't work MIL tells other members of the family how poor PH has suffered due to my ineptitude. I, in turn, get to hear about how PH's siblings suffer due their spouses incompetence.

I continue to encourage PH and my kids to have a relationship with MIL because I am selfish. Children learn what they see. When I am a senile, obnoxious, old bag, I want my children to remember that they saw me continue to try with MIL and know they have an obligation to still see me. So with that theory in mind, I invited MIL with us to the beach for four days.

Overall, it was good to have her with us. I got sick the day we were to leave for the beach and MIL and PH took the kids for a couple hours so I could empty my stomach before crawling into the back seat of the car between two car seats and riding three hours through Orlando traffic (it was a VERY bad ride). Additionally, MIL did offer and take the children on a few occasions so PH and I had a few hours to ourselves, which was very considerate. It wasn't that the other stuff didn't happen, it did, but some I've learned to ignore and some I save to share with PH. But it was this weekend that I got to see that MIL isn't always going to be around.

MIL is obese - not just overweight - hoarding food, no exercise obese. Her weight impairs her mobility and keeps her from being able to do what she would like to do. At the beach, we stayed at a condo that was no more than a five minute walk from the resort and pool. It was slightly uphill, but PH and I walked with both kids several times and never thought twice about it. MIL always called a shuttle for a ride. One time, she actually waited forty minutes with the kids and me rather than walk the five minutes. Seeing this scared me - I need to get my butt out of the chair and get rid of the twenty pounds that came with the kids. I refuse to let my weight keep me from doing all the activities I intend to do before I die. More importantly, seeing her helped me to understand that even though I will never be "good enough" for her and she will continue to favor one of my children over the other (a subject for another time), she will not always be able to go where we intend to be. If she continues, there will reach a point where travel will not be an option for her. Considering that her grandchildren and children now live on two continents and varying states, I feel sorry for her. I guess this means I'll invite everyone, including MIL to both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.

Photo Tour of the Beach

The View From our Condo.

The Beach.

The Lazy River at the Pool

The Pool

One of the many shells

Proof that we were not alone.

Shaving Cream according to Hew

My Final Resting Spot

Nothing new

After a week, I should have something to write about, but I have nothing. I have been grading like a crazy person and doing lesson plans. Thursday we are leaving for the beach for four days - The kids, PH, and MIL. I hope to more later this week but for now nada. Hope your week is more interesting than mine.

Almost done . . .

Thirty-six papers read. Six to go. Insanity catching up quickly.

Just a thought . . .

After having been married for more than six years, Perfect Husband and I readily recognize each other flaws. I do not adapt easily. I know that change causes me stress which results in me raging and ranting during the adjustment. It is not pretty and I know it.

Perfect Husband also recognizes this character flaw and as recently as last night expressed his concerns about an overseas move. How will I deal with the inevitable feelings of stress at moving somewhere unknown, where it is unlikely that I will speak the language, and I will be working at a new job? (An aside here - Before meeting PH, I did move across country by myself to start a new job at a place where I had no connections and miraculously did manage.)

Yet, was it me snipping into the phone at some poor service worker as to why there was no technical support available ON A SUNDAY to help PH with his new Blackberry? It appears that I won't be the only one needing stress management when we move.

The swing of the pendulum

Received in the forty plus research papers and promptly got the stomach flu that KK had. The flu hit so fast that I actually had to run out of a class I was teaching to be sick. Have determined that I must now be dying as the sight of chocolate turns my stomach.

What I've been doing in my spare time

A little less than a year ago, we decided to pull up the old nasty carpet in our house and replace it with a wood floor. After several heart stopping quotes, PH and I decided to put down the floor ourselves - one room at a time. We were half way through the house when I started my new job in August and since then, the floor project laid dormant. We blamed my job, but part of our inertia was due the fact that the next room to do was the family room which is the largest room.

Last Sunday, after I finished my first 23 research papers (46 will be coming in on Wednesday so service will then again be interrupted), we decided to pull up the rug and put in the floor working every night after work. Never mind that my sister and her family were coming in a week for a visit before heading to Mouseland. Never mind that I was cooking for fourteen the following weekend. It was time. Here is our progress the first night . . .



Night one!






AND FIVE DAYS LATER . . .






Although we are tired, it is done and the last three rooms are substantially smaller. We still have trim work to do, but I am quite impressed with our work.

After Friday night, I still had to cook for fourteen. I made chicken breasts in a sauce of tomatoes, onion, thyme, parsley, and wine, with baby red potatoes grilled with olive oil, thyme and parsley, and some blanched green beans. I was so busy that I only snapped one picture while I was making the sauce.

But I didn't forget to take a couple pictures of the pear and chocolate tart.

Unfortunately, after all the working, cooking, and visiting, KK came down with the stomach flu and I am now cleaning bed linens. Ma belle vie!

Temporary Break

I will be back but I am currently buried under a stack of research papers that need to be corrected. Also, for some insane reason, we tore up the carpet in the family room and are laying wood floors down. Someday, I will be back . . .

Near Escape

A very busy week and I don't see a let up in the next couple weeks. Yuck.

We finally returned Hammy the hamster, but not without problems. Last Sunday night, the deviant hamster from hell made a dash for freedom at two freakin' o'clock in the morning. Even without wayward rodents, I hate Sunday nights. I can never get to sleep - my mind races with all the things that need to be completed in the up-coming week.

Before Hammy's break, I spent the first two hours in bed tossing and turning, making numerous lists of things that I will never accomplish. The next hour, I listened to PH snore. PH's snoring is not consistent. The volume increases until he nearly gags himself whereupon he wakes himself up, only to turn over and continue snoring whether on his back, his stomach, or his side. After numerous attempts to stop the variant decibel snoring, I finally went to the couch to sleep.

I had just dozed off after acknowledging that I would only have four hours of sleep to start my week, when I woke to the clatter of plastic hitting the tile floor in the laundry room. Damn Hammy, I thought as I stumbled to check on the freakin' hamster like the third child I never wanted. I flip on the laundry room light and the evil rodent is perched on the top of his cage and he has knocked off the lid. As Hammy sees me, his eyes widen with the knowledge that his escape plan has been foiled and he runs down the tube to hide in his exercise wheel. Damn rodent. I duct taped his cage back together.

Hopefully, this Sunday night will just be a normal sleepless Sunday.

Priceless . . .

Making a post on a lazy Saturday and immediately receiving responses from people around the world. Thanks.

The Week's Run-Down

This week:

• We had a few days with temperatures below fifty degrees. I actually wore a jacket and people here thought the world was coming to an end. It was wonderful!



• It rained. For me, it was such a nice change to see rain until I saw the pictures from a city less than an hour away from us. These poor people have lost everything. I won't be wishing for rain again anytime soon.



• We are currently babysitting the hamster from KK's pre-school. "Hammy" is a round, over-fed little bugger. I fear that he will become stuck in the narrow, little tubes protruding from his cage. And PH already yelled that Hammy was not in his cage and after a frantic search, we found him mid-tube. Pray we don't kill the damn thing before his return to pre-school on Monday. KK would never live it down.



• As I was driving yesterday, a vulture flew into the path of my windshield and despite attempting to brake, I hit the friggin' thing. Just a small ding to the windshield, but PH is still laughing at my driving skills and the irony of hitting a vulture.



• KK and Hew are in competition for the world record for the most consecutive days bickering. I may be institutionalized soon.



• At the ripe old age of two, Hew has announced his career choice - Trash Man. He explained that the Trash Man gets to ride on the back of the truck AND wear his hat backwards. What more could one need in life. . .
  

So, what was your career choice as a child? Happy Weekend!

The Queen of Planning

The Queen of Planning should really be my title. It's not enough that I am constantly planning our escape from this state in eighteen month [well, really sixteen months and ten days, but who's counting :)], but it appears that I have become my entire family planner.

This weekend, I arranged for my family's various summer flights, car rental, and a hotel in Norway. My sister and her family will be visiting Mouseland at the end of February so I planned a dinner at my house for her and her brood, and my grandmother, her 87 year old boyfriend (don't ask!), and my aunt, uncle, and cousin all who live about an hour from here.

Then, I received another call from sister who had been talking to to my parents. It seems that instead of a fortieth anniversary party in August, my parents want a family trip to celebrate - WITH ALL OF US! That is eight adults and five children, ages two, three, five, six, and nine. The only available time that everyone can schedule the trip is the week after Christmas. And of course, since I am the Queen of Planning, the trip has been dumped on my doorstep. I say "dumped," but in reality I don't mind as it gives me some control as to where we go.

So here's the parameters - it must be warm, preferable the Caribbean, possibly an inclusive sort of place, accessible from Boston and Florida, big enough to accommodate 8 adults and five children, with a kitchen so we don't always have to take the kids out, and it must be the week after Christmas. What I have run into so far is that the cost between Christmas and New Years increases at most resorts at least three fold. I have one lead in the Dominican Republic that looks promising, but I'm hoping for some assistance in blogger world - places people can recommend or places to go with thirteen of your family members (yes, hell does seem to be the most accurate response). All this family planning has left no time to plan my Mommy free time in May, but I'm sure I'll come up with something (insert dramatic sigh here). Where's my crown?

Suggestions

As a pay back for PH's trip to Arizona, he has suggested that I take a few days away. Because of my work schedule, it doesn't appear that I can take any time until the very end of May or beginning of June. So where to go? Time period is a maximum of three to four nights. And no, I don't want to stay in Florida!

Something new

Lately, this blog has been a lot of whining and not much substance. Although I cannot promise that will change often, periodically I will be making attempts to add some "substance." The following is just some thoughts I had after reading an article in today's paper about the boys from Missouri who had recently been rescued from their kidnapper. Feel free to agree, disagree, or tell me I'm full of crap. I'm interested to hear what others think about this.


Those in “developed society” tend to frown upon the stories of women convicted for being victims of rape. Stories from Afghanistan, Pakistan, Sudan, and other countries about women being imprisoned for “zina” or unlawful sexual intercourse (which is a rather nice phrase for being violently forced to have sex) are abhorrent. The idea that someone could be jailed or sentenced to die because of being sexually abused is outrageous to the majority. These stories are a reminder that societal organizations should not be used to further victimize those who have harmed wrongly.

Why then is there a questioning outcry after two kidnapped boys from Missouri are discovered – one after nearly four years of captivity? The issue centers on the fact that this child had opportunities to use a phone and a computer, and was also seen outside of his captor's apartment, yet according to the media there were no attempts to escape. Somehow, in the court of public opinion, this has brought this child's victimization into question.

Is it necessary to remind John Q. Public of a child’s vulnerability? This child was kidnapped at age eleven and was held approximately one hour from his home. In reality, how many children age eleven could find their way home when an hour away? Additionally, a child's inability to accurately assess a situation should be noted. Children readily believe that a fat man in a red suit can slide down the chimney of every home in one night. Yet according to the media backlash in this case, a pre-teen should be able to measure the credibility of his kidnapper's words and deeds, and then act to save himself at opportune moments. It is unknown at this point what was done or said to this child, but the media questions should focus on why he was taken and what can been done to keep this offender from stealing another young life, instead of blaming the child for failing to escape.

Lately, it has become easier to blame the victim of a crime as their credibility is further questioned in the news. Through cases like the recent Duke rape case, the issue of an alleged victim's credibility are being examined. In the Duke case, the waters are furthered muddied by a prosecutor who in seeking fame, forgets his ethical responsibilities to the public. It was easier during an election year to spew words like "gang rape" and "racism" without first investigating the case. Due to a recantation and evidence issues, the focus has moved to one of blame. Because of the rush to judgment without evidence in that case, other victims of crime will suffer --their credibility will be attacked for having the audacity to report a crime that is often near impossible to prove. After all, the smart criminal chooses to commit a crime where it cannot be seen and is careful not to leave behind evidence. Thankfully, many are not so smart.

In looking at these cases, it becomes evident that “civilized society” is no different than those courts in developing nations. Instead of a criminal conviction for being raped, there is a conviction in the court of public opinion -- the child in Missouri should have done more to escape. This is the same logic used to punish the victims of rape. The only difference is that there, women are punished for the actions of their predator, whereas here, we punish the kid for the actions of the kidnapper.

Thoughts?

Still looking on the bright side

Incredibly, the good mood continues. I say "incredibly" because I have some horrid stomach virus that makes me feel tethered to the bathroom. However, I have lost almost five pounds since Friday. Not the diet plan I was going to use, but I'll take it. Hope everyone has a happy MLK day tomorrow - although I have the day off, I'll be working on lesson plans if I can break free of the tether.

A Happy Note

Back to work almost a week - still had unhappy parents and children grumbling about school, and a surprise evaluation, BUT I've just been happy. My lesson plans have gone well, the evaluation went fine, and I've been able to have a few nights where I haven't had to bring home work. Do you think the job's getting better or it's just the temperature dropping below 70 degrees that brought on my smile?

Singles Parents

I don't know how single parents manage. PH flew out early yesterday morning to Arizona. He'll be back late Tuesday and until them I'm a single parent. I've got one kid with an ear infection and another with allergies (at least that was the diagnosis Friday). Both have been good with occasional bouts of sibling dispute, but I miss sharing the load.

I've always been amazed by single parents. I know that most don't have a choice - you do it because you have to do it. I imagine that at some point I would become resentful at never having a moment to myself. All of the fights, the baths, the getting dressed, the fits, the illness, the laundry, the dishes, the late nights, and the early mornings. I know that also means you get all of the kisses, the hugs, the snuggles, the I love yous, and the attention. I admit that I'm relieved that my single parent status ends on Tuesday. And yes, we ate take-out last night!

Some thoughts for the New Year

This is the first year that I haven't made any resolutions or come up with any great thoughts on how to improve my life for the future. I'm still reeling from the impact of my latest life changing decision and haven't decided whether I have made a mistake. For such a planner, I am at a loss for the future.

For the past four years, PH and I have been talking about a move. Although PH has a great job, it's not what he wants to do forever and I really dislike Florida (I know - surprise, surprise!) Our initial thoughts were to move North to New England. It would be closer to my family and I miss the change of seasons. Then after a few vacations, we began entertaining the idea of trying to find a job overseas. At first, it was just fantasies about winning the lottery, quitting my job, finding a good nanny, and moving to the Alps. The talk became more serious as we volleyed around ideas of how we could earn a living. No, we're not technology people, international business people, or military. And between the two of us, we speak some basic french and one of us is fluent in Norwegian [not a very useful language in most countries - sorry Renny :)]. Still, we are educated, with advance degrees; there must be something we could do overseas to earn a living.

PH and I were in the same line of work - law. I was working part-time to be available to parent our new children. Decent pay, great benefits, and part-time with something I had done for years. PH is a partner -- great salary, great hours but he is ready for a change. With the talk about moving, we decided that I would go back to school, take a few classes so I could work at a lower paying job that put me on my kid's schedule. I went back to school so I could teach. I never expected it to be easy but we thought it would be easier to find jobs once we moved if we weren't in the same business.

So, we had a plan. I'd change career. It would be better. It would give us options. Only it hasn't quite worked out that way. I'm working for a private school that is going through an administrative change. Because of the upheaval, parents are currently running the school. Not literally, but for all intens and purposes, they are calling the shots. I have been screamed at and insulted; I have had parents barge into my room ten minutes before class starts demanding I change my lesson plans; my credentials have been questioned; grades are changed upon the demand of parents. These are parents who would have never dared talk to me this way before I became their child's teacher. There is some assumption that because I have "lowered" myself to teach that I am fair game for attack. Additionally, the school does not have a mentor program and no one else is teaching the classes I am teaching, so there is no collaboration. Also, there is no set curriculum; other than asking other teachers what they have done in the past, I am responsible for developing my own curriculum. I have been told this is not a typical "first year" teaching experience.

I know I don't have to do this forever. I keep reminding myself this is for us to get out of here. I only have a year and a half left, and then I can start looking to move. But more and more, I'm realizing that it is not likely that we could both find jobs overseas and support ourselves. Today, I received an e-mail from a well meaning expatriate that sums up my fears. The e-mail discussed the average teaching salary, the tax code, the cost of housing, etc, etc, etc. What's the likelihood that two people, one who speaks only a smattering of french and one who is fluent in Norwegian, will find jobs in a foreign country? And not just any jobs, but jobs that will allow them to support their two young off-spring? Jobs that will not blow their saving that they have worked the last ten years to accumulate?

So now, I wondering why I'm sticking with a job where I am treated badly and I'm not sure if I even like it? If we're just going North to New England, why not just stick with my original profession? Did I make a giant mistake in changing careers? And at what point, do you have to grow up and become realistic, and give up on the idea of moving to the Alps?

New Years Brunch

Welcome to New Year's Brunch at Hexe's house. It was just the four of us this morning. PH had mentioned last night that he wanted to run in the morning so I thought I'd have time to cook. Of course, this morning PH changed his mind. Finally, after thirty minutes of trying to cook with a two small children at my feet begging for food, I finally ordered PH to go for a run and take both kids. By the time, they were all dressed, had various bathroom breaks, and put on their shoes, the rain started! Fortunately, the getting ready process lasted long enough for me to get brunch completed.


First, a bite of pumpkin bread to keep the children from starving while I cooked. In the fall, I pickled up a few extra pumpkins that I cooked and pureed, and the froze for later use. Although the canned version works, the frozen pumpkin always makes the bread very moist. Yum!

This was a egg and ham custard recipe from a french cookbook. It is seasoned with thyme and nutmeg. Very easy to make! I made some potato pancakes to serve with the eggs.

This was suppose to be peaches and strawberries in pink champagne, but I couldn't find any good peaches, so I substituted cantaloupe which worked well. I made it without the champagne for the kids which they seemed to like. I need to work on my photograph as this picture does not do this fruit cup justice.

And finally, mimosa - champagne and orange juice!
HAPPY NEW YEARS!

The Disappearance

I wish I could say that my blogging absence was due to something exciting - like a lottery win and an around the world adventure, or a spontaneous cross country move. Unfortunately, the hiatus was the result of more mundane events - some work related problems and some family chaos. Neither is something that I can comfortably talk about right now. We are all fine, but this past months has left me asking myself some difficult questions about our future plans. Sorry for being so cryptic - at some point, I hope to be able to laugh about all this, but right now I'm just a tad overwhelmed.



On to the excitement of Christmas . . . the blurry pictures show the result of global warming in Maine. That's right - no snow this year. This is our first Christmas trip with no snow and we have been traveling to Maine for ten years, except for 2001 when I gave birth to KK two days after Christmas. The kids asked about the snow, but were content to play with their cousins and the numerous Christmas gifts bestowed upon them by Grammie and Grampa. For them, the trip was a great time -- Santa and their relatives were exceptionally generous, hours of play with cousins and friends, walks on mud filled roads -- even without snow, it was a wonderful time.

We arrived back in Florida two days ago to 80 degree weather. Three out of the four of us have lingering colds - 'tis the season! No plans for New Year's tonight, except to put the kids to bed early and relax. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and I wish you a joyous New Year! Bonne Annee! Ein Gluckliches Neues Jahr! Godt Nytt Ar!

Over the River and Through the Woods

The quick and dirty on Thanskgiving in New Hampshire (there was a 'nice' photo of the trees and stream where we stayed but Blogger does not wish for me to use photo at this time - Damn you, Blogger!):

1. Hew to KK as they walked outside the first morning - "Hey, look at the frosting on the car!"

2. Attempting to make fudge with powdered sugar results in chocolate taffy, but NOT fudge, no matter how long you put it in the freezer.

3. Children who refuse to sleep for their parents and then sleep perfectfully for their grandparents WILL NOT receive a visit from Santa.

4. My parents are becoming the old, obnoxious, retired people who winter in this state. Not only did my father who used to ice race cars fail to drive over forty miles an hour, he also refused to follow the direction to my brother's house given to us by my brother. We spent an hour driving forty miles an hour through the mountains for no apparent reason.

5. This is the first time in ten years that I did not make the meal and I missed it. Plus, we had no left-overs.

6. It is amazing that my sister and I grew up in the same house. Sis has been building a house for more than three years (according to their bank loan it was suppose to be done in a year - yeah, that tends to impair your credit rating) and there was a list of things the bank wanted done before the end of November. We all go over there to help - there is no system or order. Neither Sis nor brother-in-law (BIL) is sure what to work on first. Food has not been made (there are ten people coming to your house, you might want to plan a little!). Sis planned to make lasagna but forgot. I made it, realizing after I cooked the noodles that the only cheese in the house was shreaded cheddar and colby jack. At night, I am sleeping on a pad from a lawn chair, in a room with no heat, with my four year old niece's blanket that doesn't reach my toes. Next to me is PH who is sleeping on an air mattress with a leak thus resulting in the middle of his bed sinking to the cold floor and PH being wrapped like an enchilada by the air filled sides of the mattress. Both kids are in the room and I have dressed them in full length pants and sweaters to sleep. There should be a test people must pass before they attempt to build a house - Sis and BIL would fail it.

7. I love my family. I love to visit with them. I miss them. But living with them would result in my hospitalization in a psychiatric facility.

Friday Feast

Appetizer: Have you ever flown in a helicopter?
No never. I tend to become ill in small planes and make use of those cute little bags that are so thoughtful placed. I imagine flying in a helicopter would produce the same results and I fear they would not have the cute bags.

Soup: What color is your warmest coat or jacket?
I have a stylish, fitted ski jacket in sky blue and white. Never did I think a white winter jacket would be slimming, but I look positively svelte in it. Living in Florida, I get to wear it for one week when I visit my parents at Christmas which is too bad because there is little else in my wardrobe that has the effect of that jacket.

Salad: What is your favorite rainy day activity?
Before children, it was reading. There is nothing better than a cold, rainy day, a blazing fire, hot chocolate with Bailey's Irish Creme, and a good book. Now, it's building a tent from chairs and blankets or playing the game "Put Mommy to Bed" which allows Mommy to lay in the bed while the kids read me stories and put me to sleep.

Main Course: Describe your hands.
Small, short, slightly swollen fingers. The life line is longer on my right hand. I have prominently veins which is why my Husband says I am a Borg.

Dessert: If you could eat only one nut for the rest of your life, what nut would you pick?
Cashews, of course. My Husband thinks I should have a different answer to this question.

Sorry for the hiatus

Life at Hexe's house has been a little crazy. After the sick kids, Hew decided to make the most of his terrible twos. For nearly two weeks, he has refused to sleep through the night. The tantrums escalated into forty-five minute screaming fits. I seriously started to think we needed to have him evaluated AND THEN my parents arrived. Hew slept through the night - no problem. This was after I had called my mother sobbing as I was so sleep deprived, trying to explain why Hew needed a neurological exam. She laughed and said he was two, testing his boundaries, and apparently winning. Damn, I hate when that woman is right! Since then, some minor tantrums but definitely more sleep.

Add in craziness at work. Plus this time of year seems to depress me. I know I'm obsessed with heat, but it is nearly December and it is 80 degrees. Late autumn should be cold mornings with frost, steaming coffee, and a fire in the fireplace. I do realize that all this is just excuses for my lack of writing but with the lack of sleep, I've barely been able to find matching socks in the morning - complete sentences were just too much!

We did make it to New Hampshire for Thanksgiving. Once my parents arrived and Hew slept, we had a nice time. I know it sounds thrilling - 'nice', but our standards are pretty low here. We stayed at a place with a pool which made the kids happy and PH happy, and it was in the mountains with a stream running outside my bedroom window, so I was happy. PH and I even had a dinner sans children once my parents came to visit. We ended the evening with a cursing, tiring screeched stop as a BLACK BEAR was smack in the middle of the road as we drove home. Yes, it was a BLACK BEAR - not some large dog. The thing moved rather rapidly back into the woods, but then turned and watched us watching him for several minutes. We just kept repeating different versions of OMG THAT IS A BLACK BEAR! See - easily entertained.

More on New Hampshire later. Sorry for the lame and awkward post - I'm out of practice. For those who celebrate Thanksgiving - Hope it was 'nice'.

Look out Norway . . .

I love making travel plans - the anticipation, the research, the discovery. Other than frustrating airline mileage redemption programs, I enjoy the entire process of planning for our next trip almost as much as the actual trip. A future trip to an unknown destination is just the escape one needs when the doldrums of evevery day life set in.

I have previously mentioned my frustration in planning our summer trip to Norway. After numerous tries we finally gave up on the idea of using our frequent flyer miles. Even after informing the airline that Stavanger is in NORWAY not GERMANY, it was impossible to use the miles unless we were willing to stay for six or more months. As the kids will be at Grammie and Grampa's house, six months seemed a bit of an imposition. So after a few weeks of research and searching different options, we have finally procurred tickets to Stavanger for eight days in June. I do understand that this more than six months away, but I now have plenty of time to anticipate, research, and discovery western Norway. Plus, some basic Norwegian must be learned as we will be visiting the family PH stayed with as an exchange student.

So anyone with information or suggestions about the area between Bergen and Stavanger, drop me a line. (This means you, Renny - although I know you are on the opposite coast). For now, I can be found ignoring my sick child (yes, that's why I'm home mid-day) so that I can troll the web and fantasy about my escape. Happy Friday!

Just call me the Scrooge of Halloween

I love autumn. It is the time of year I miss the most living in the God forsaken Mouseland. I love Halloween - carving pumpkins, the kids all excited to dress up and go door to door in the neighborhood, shrieking over their favorite candy, proudly showing off their costume to their friends. Ah, Halloween . . .

Over the years living here, I have come to accept that our neighborhood is one where many parents drop their children off in order to trick or treat. I have learned not to question where the kids are from and just smile and hand out fifty dollars worth of junk that will rot through their teeth as they sleep tonight. After all, it's Halloween . . .

BUT (you knew there was a but coming) . . .

BUT, there comes a point in time when it's time to retire the costume. When I was a kid, it was around age twelve or thirteen. You were in middle school, you were a teenager, you were already feeling awkward and a costume certainly didn't help - you were too old and you knew it. It appears that today's teenagers have not been made aware of the age limit. So below are some suggestions for today's youth in order to determine their eligibilty for trick or treating.

• If you are old enough to shave any part of your body, you're too old.
• If you can drive, you're too old.
• If you walk away from the door with your hand on your girlfriend's ass, you're too old.
• If you have had elective surgery to enhance certain body parts or reduce other parts, you're too old.
• If you have impregnated someone or birthed a child, you're too old.
• If you have your own credit card or checking account without a parental co-signer, you're too old
• If you don't know how to get off the damn cell phone while your candy bag is open, you're too old.
• If you qualify to earn minimum wage, you're too old.
• If you can't be bothered to put on a costume, you are too old.
• If you can legally buy alcohol (or you're old enough to desire a fake I.D.), you're too old.
• If you're costume is a tattoo and (visible) body piercings, you're too old.
• If you're old enough to access porn on the internet, you're too old.
• If you dress as a playboy bunny, you're too old.

Unfortunately, this has been my evening and I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Welcome to the Neighborhood . . . NOT!

I have previously mentioned my uptight, rude, petty neighbors, but their obnoxious behavior had reached a new high. Last weekend, PH and I began to put our lawn back together. During the summer heat, we generally let some of the weeding go. We still mow regularly but it is fair to say that we do let things grow out a bit. It's hot and things just tend to wither a bit no matter what we do.

Anyways, last weekend, we began weeding and trimming back the shrubs. We cleaned up on the side on the house and cut back a couple trees. We were happy with our start and intended to continue our "clean up" this weekend. I also should add that we do have a sign in our yard, supporting a local political candidate that we know.

Fast forward to Wednesday after work. I'm driving home with both kids, figuring out how to get dinner on the table. I pull up and grab the mail before going in the house. Strangely, there is a letter with no return address and our names are not on the envelope, just our address. Once the kids are in the house and have a snack, I open the curious envelope and there with various spelling errors is the following message:

Here's the deal...We will vote for your favored political candidate and in turn you can take care of your lawn, cut your bushes and bring your property UP TO OUR COMMUNITY STANDARDS.

The letter was unsigned, of course, as my neighbors don't have the courage to approach us personally. Now, these neighbors have no problem sending their children to play in our yard while they go about their business and we watch their kids, but they can't be bothered to speak with us. I am counting the days until I can sell this house and move.

So, did these cretin cowards keep us from working on our yard? Certainly not, but we left the front yard looking as is and have done a lovely job cleaning out the back where our children play and our one neighbor who is actually decent lives. As far as the front, I'm thinking about a dozen pink flamingo yard ornaments - what do you think?

I love my new job . . .

Today: 7 hour drive for a 5 hour seminar! Now going to bed.

Surreal

Right, this moment I am riding in the car as PH and I drive home from Cedar Key after a weekend sans kids. Being without the kids is surreal in its own way (don't worry, we left them with MIL and not locked in a closet), but even more surreal is that I have internet access in the car (new wireless thingamadoo that PH's work decided was a necessity). Even stranger, is that we are listening via the thingamadoo to a radio station in Norway. Just heard the news in Norweigan - fine for PH, not so interesting for me.

Our first trip to Cedar Key, we were young, high pressured professions, with no kids, a crap load of college debt, and no home. We laugh at the changes eight years have brought - we are very lucky - a home, two healthy children, friends and family who love us.

For those who haven't heard of Cedar Key, which I know is the majority of you, Cedar Key is a small island off the Northwest Coast of Florida. There isn't much there. A couple bed and breakfasts, a few boats, and a cute little downtown. It just happens to be the place that PH proposed eight years ago. We haven't been back since then, but PH planned a surprise get away weekend for our anniversary. This would be where I would post the beautiful pictures of the coast and the adorabel little B&B, except that in our haste to run away from our children, we forgot to grab the camera battery.

What is even more surreal is that we are in the same car from 1998 when we got engaged - my 1995 Volkswagon Golf. I moved to Florida in this car and still have not had the heart to turn it in, but the time for a proper burial is coming. So, this our last trip in this car - funny, it's to the place where our lives together began.

A Visit to Hell

Just when things begin to fall into place, we visit PH's family and Hew comes home with a flu. Poor Hew had a temperature of over 102 for three days. PH stayed home with him on Monday and Tuesday, and I stayed home Wednesday. PH swears that I can not blame his family for this, but EVERY time we see these relatives, they or their children are sick. AND EVERY TIME my kids end up sick!

I will concede where we met for the visit could have contributed to Hew's illness. The location was NOT my choice but PH's brothers already had plans to got to this place. Drum roll, please . . . We went to The Nickelodeon Hotel in Orlando. I tried to have an open mind, but truly the place is Hell on Earth.

Imagine thousands of small, overly sugared and overly caffinated children screaming in a large pool with maybe two life guards. I won't even mention the urine/water ratio.

What disturbs me is the blatant commercialism and over spending. Parents were seen giving into every whim of their children - allowing them to purchase and consume whatever they wanted. My brother and sister-in-law soon fell into this trap, and when they purchased a "surprise" for their children, their elder child threw down the gift, pouting and whining that the gift was not what she wanted. Did punishment or a reprimand ensue? - No, instead the child was consoled by her mother that she could go back to the store and "get what she wanted." Mother additionally berated Father for not buying the "right gift." I had to grit my teeth and leave the room.

Forgive me for wishing for the "good old days" where a parent understood that their role is not to befriend their children, but to love and guide their children into becoming decent human beings. Also, entertainment should be a backyard and an imagination. A child who can not entertain themselves for ten minutes without television or a loud, flashing electronic device is missing out. My siblings and neighbors still laugh over the "plays" we used to perform in the backyard - including a modern version of Cinderella, where yours truly decided she didn't want to marry the prince (my childhood neighbor who did end up coming out of the closet years later), but instead had the wicked step sisters turned into appliances (a washing machine and a vacumn) and then Cinderella moved off to the city to get a job! Yes, even then, I was an independet women. Seriously, the skills children develop while playing outside and using their imagination are skills they will continue to build on for a lifetime, and they certainly won't come from watching Nickelodeon or going to their hotel.

There - I'm done ranting.

Copy Cat

I stole this idea from Sunshine. Go to Google and enter your name followed by "Last I heard s/he was". Here the life I didn't know I was leading.
Last I heard, Hexe was

1. Living in Austin, Texas and appearing on MTV's Austin stories.
You just know that MTV is looking for a working Mom with two kids who's idea of a wild party is a bunch of preschoolers hopped on kool aid and cupcakes.

2. homeless and begging people to send her cash.
Does begging work?

3. the husband's kitty.
This is PH's favorite. He's hoping this means I have some sort of Cat Woman costume for our anniversary at the end of the month. Keep dreaming . . .

4. getting a petition signed against lip piercing
Do you blame me? What are all the multiple piercing people going to do when they get old and it all starts to sag, thus creating open, gaping holes in their bodies? Think about it!

5. living in Syracuse, NY and was represented by galleries in NY.
Who knew that stick drawings could be so profitable?

6. going back to Florida to have her second kid.
Never left after the first kid, and sadly, still here after the second one.

7. headed up North.
Alright, who's been talking about my Thanksgiving trip before I told my mother-in-law that I am taking her grandchildren away for the week?

8. going upstairs for a smoke.
Yuck!

9. "preggers"
GOD NO!

10. crazy for crystal pleating polyster for scarves.
Wow - I must have said that while I was partying in Austin and drinking that crazy kool aid.

God, it's good to be back!

help my blog is gone

We interupt our regular program . . .

I am feeling very guilty that my blogging has dropped off since I returned to work. I just haven't felt very inspired to write as the new job has been very overwhelming and I can't say much about it. Some good news from the home front:

1. Hew has kicked into gear on the potty training. He only uses a pull-up during nap and night. We are still celerbrating every number 2 with a lolly and a potty dance, but at least I am not changing dirty diapers!
2. KK has decided to be Tinkerbell for Halloween. Hew is still undecided, but is leaning towards being a "princess" like his sister. Sigh . . .
3. PerfectHusband's job has been especially generous as of late and we are now going the New England for Thanksgiving. We are headed to the mountains, where we hope to have a dusting of snow, to get us into the holiday spirit! We thought about heading to Germany or the Netherlands as we have a week and found a really great price, but then realized our children do not have passports - oops!
4. The stress of the new job has resulted in a few pounds of weight loss which my MIL noticed during her visit yesterday.
5. No major hurricanes have hit our area yet!

I will try to find a life and have something more interesting to write about.

The loss of customer service

I have just spent the last hour and a half trying to book an airline ticket for June by redeeming miles that I have allegedly earned on USAirways. I say allegedly because it seems that even though I have the miles, they can not be used out of any airport. Every time we have attempted to redeem our dividend miles, we go through this. If I had been limited to one airport and a set date, I might be more understanding, but I gave the seven different customer services people with which I spoke, seven different airports in Florida I was willing to fly out from and three different airports in Norway at which I was willing to arrive. I also gave them a week of dates to use. The excuses include:

1. I can not find a Stavanger airport in GERMANY (might that be because it is in NORWAY!)
2. There are no seats available on any domestic flight out of Florida for the entire month of June (after that statement, I just asked to speak with the next person)
3. The Star Alliance of which USAirways is a member does not fly to Norway (Also part of the Star Alliance are Scandinavian Air and Lufthansa and in less than thirty seconds on their websites I could find flights to Stavanger, Bergen, and Haugsund)
4. Scandinavian Air and Lufthansa have no seats available all of June (see two above)
5. "We do not talk to our partners in the Star Alliance so I can not tell you if any seats were ever available to be redeemed."

After these conversations, I have to question my sanity in flying with this airline. If they do not have the ability to train their personnel, why should I believe that they have the ability to keep a plane upright. If only there was a really long bridge to Europe . . .

My Latest Addiction

I know that reality shows are for the most part crap. Yet, I can't seem to turn off the t.v. My latest favorite is RockStar: SuperNova. I turn in twice a week, staying up past my bedtime (yes, 9:00 PM is bedtime - I'm old) to watch these musicians sing for a place in the band SuperNova.

While I enjoy the music, part of my infatuation is the bad boy rocker image. I was much too good as a teenager to have dated a rocker, but I can still picture myself driving on some back road like a bat out of hell, screaming out of tune some rebellious lyrics. The bad boy, Toby, the family man, Magni, and the brassy Delana keep me coming back. While I enjoy the show, I know that if my daughter came home with the multiple piercing that Delana showcases or my son came home telling me that he was going to be a rock singer I'd have a fit. Some obsessions are best enjoyed from a distance.

What have I become . . .

I don't buy Barbies. Not to fear, my daughter has her fair share of disproportional Barbies from my mother and my sister. I also take issue with Disney's portrayal of women as "princesses" needing to be "rescued" by some handsome prince. I am all for make believe, but all children should know at a young age that they do not need to be rescued - that they are capable of being/doing anything.

At KK's preschool, there is some four year old who wears a crown to school EVERYDAY. Rather than running around the playground, hanging from the monkey bars, this kid stands around in a full princess gown and crown, making disparaging and hurtful comments about the other kids. As much as KK loves running around and hanging upside down, occasionally she wants to be a princess at school and I am forced to remind her of the school dress code (which is selectively enforced - the "princess" kid's Daddy sits on the Board). Additionally, I personally could not allow her to wander around "reigning" over the other kids.

So, imagine my surprise, when a couple weeks ago, PH shows me an advertisement in the local paper for Disney's Princesses on Ice, and I readily agree to take KK because she'd love it. Just tatoo sucker across my forehead. It was as I feared - numerous, salivating, squealing, young girls (some not even old enough to walk) shoved into princess dresses with full blown make up and nail polish. I could see the yearning in KK's eyes as she was dressed in her pink Osh Kosh overalls.

For those of you who have not attended such a show, it is a condensed version of the Disney classics on ice skates. Belle, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Ariel are all saved by their prince and they skate off happily ever after. Even Mulan, Disney's attempt to appeal to the modern woman, was all aflutter as her prince got down on one knee to propose and then swept her off her skates. Sadly, I was both attracted and repelled. Sure, I'd like some guy on a white horse to handle all of my daily chores and stresses, but come on, that's not reality. Are we not setting our daughter's up for disappointment when the prince turns out to be a guy who can't put the toilet seat down, leaves his underwear on the floor, and periodically forgets to "save us"?

So with ideals already in the toilet, I allowed KK to pick out a Tinker Bell costume, which she is currently wearing. Running through the house flying. Hey, at least Tinker Bell didn't need to be rescued by some handsome prince . . .

This was my life four weeks ago. My kids, my nieces, and the lake. It all just seems like a distant memory now.

This new job experience has thrown me for a loop. I'm struggling to keep up day to day. My confidence in my decision making has drastically diminished. I made a career change for the future - to benefit my family. Yet, now I'm working more hours than I have in four years, for less money, and for much less respect. I question this decision daily.

Some is the job, but some just seems to be the way I'm wired. I struggle with change. I'm such a contradiction because I'm constantly working towards the future and looking for ways to challenge myself, but dramatic change puts me over the proverbial edge. This experience has me questioning our thoughts about a possible overseas move (however, I am more certain that we need to leave Florida). How would I handle such a drastic change? Would I be able to adapt? Is that idea just an ideal?

Thanks to those of you who have recently sent me a positive note. I can not say how much those have meant this past week. I'm going to try to let this go for now and see where I am in a few months when the job isn't so new. Hopefully, with a little more sleep, a little more knowledge, and a lot less stress, my confidence will return. And hopefully, I'll have a little more time to blog :)

Suggestions?

After a week in the new job, I am not anxious to leave my warm bed and begin my work week. After a few tense days last week, administration relented and backed off their unreasonable demands on my time. Even with the modifications, I think it will take me some time to become comfortable with my "new life." So, until that happens, I'm planning a trip for my kids' spring break in March. Traveling with an almost three-year-old and a five-year-old just screams stress relief, doesn't it?

The question of the weekend has been where to go for one week in mid-March with two small children. We've talked about Northern New England - a visit to Boston and then spring skiing in New Hampshire, but we are definitely looking for some other ideas. We considered an overseas trip, but with the lack of time and the kids' ages, it would need to be a direct flight (or a great deal :) ), which seriously limits our options. The only requirement is that I get to leave the State of Florida. So, suggestions anyone?

The Biggest Mistake?

Well, I have been back to work full-time in a new career for just over a week and I am seriously thinking that I have made the biggest mistake of my life. I understand that adjusting and learning a new career takes time, but I am beyond overwhelmed at this point. My immediate supervisor has already gotten into trouble for having the audacity to suggest to the "powers that be" that overloading me this early will lead to a disaster. As he has been told to back off, I am now on my own to try to navigate this new job.

What is so ironic is that before when I was a "customer" and not an employee, I was always right, my opinion was valued, and I was treated with respect. The moment I changed to employee, my status changed and it has become perfectly acceptable to bully me into taking on much more than my contract required. I already miss the time I had with my kids and am struggling to figure out how to balance all this. Thankfully, PH has been wonderful and has stepped up to take on so much of what I used to do. Realistically, that can't go on forever and I just hope I can find a way to get it all done without screwing up royally.

So much for my promise that I wouldn't blog about work . . .

My First Friday Feast

Here's my First Feast:

Appetizer: Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.
I had Weebles (you know, "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down") that my neighbor stole. He peeled off their plastic faces and clothing, and painted on new faces and clothes. His mom found them and made him return them and apologize. I was the only kid with customized Weebles.

Soup: If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?
A quality education.

Salad: Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?
It depends on the day – usually around three. However, if the kids are being whiny, it increases as I count the minutes until he gets home.

Main Course: What is something you believe in 100%?
Manners. Is it so damn hard to use please, thank-you, and you're welcome?

Dessert: Name one thing you have done this week that you would consider a "good deed."
I took a young colleague to lunch. She just moved here and I was reminded of when I moved here ten years ago and how kind people had been to me.

Enjoy the meal!

Time to face the music and put the doughnut down

Yesterday I had to have my picture taken for my new job. I hate having my picture taken as it is a reminder that I'm not happy with how I look. And now I have to wonder why I don't do something about it.

Before kids, I was very active. I ran and worked out and easily maintained a single digit figure. My first pregnancy, I gained too much weight and was on bedrest for eight weeks. I never lost all the weight before number two arrived. Last year for a short time, I really committed myself to working out, but I didn't stick to it. Now with a new job, I have to wonder when I will find the time and why don't I make this a priority.

I understand the concept - less food in the mouth and move movement. I understand that being overweight is bad for my health - especially with a family history of diabetes and heart problems. I understand that I would feel better about myself and have more energy. So, why can't I get my arse up and make it happen?

Excuse me, where is the baby aisle?

Setting: Hexe running around kitchen like a deranged escapee trying to get dinner on the table. KK and Hew periodically wandering into the kitchen to throw toys on the floor and tattle on each other.

KK (meanders into kitchen holding her piggy bank): Momma, I want to buy a baby.

Hexe (distracted by hot items on stove): Uhuh.

KK (louder and more insistent): Momma! I got fifteen dollars. Is that enough to buy a baby?

Hexe (still preoccupied with hot stove): KK, you know that babies don't come from stores.

KK (sighing dramatically): I know that babies come from their mommy's belly, but then the mommy takes the baby to the grocery store for people to buy. So is fifteen dollars enough to buy a baby?

I have no idea where or how this thought developed as we have been to the grocery store more times than I can count and I have yet to see a baby aisle. Besides, if I knew during all those sleepless nights I could have sold my kids to Publix . . . . I think it best I don't finish this thought!

. . .and the vacation is over

Not only is my vacation over, but my new career begins next week. I am crossing the bridge from one life to another. Before children, I was a career woman. I worked nights and weekends when I had to without question. I worked hard and climbed the ladder. I knew who I was and where I was going.

And then KK came along and life changed. I changed jobs but still in the same field - a job that was more child friendly, part-time, flexible, and with the best boss I will ever have. After Hew was born and I went to my wonderful boss and explained my decision to change careers to something less glamorous, with less prestige, and even less money, but with more time for my children, he understood. The new career is more positive and contributes more to society. I am excited and scared.

I will never blog about my work - fear of being Dooced or sent along the way of Petite Anglaise keeps me silent. Also, the new job is not one I could discuss without betraying the trust placed in me. I only mention it now because for me life is changing. And with change comes the hope for the future . . .