Yesterday, the kids returned to school after nearly a month away. It was time. We'd been back in Florida for a week, the novelty of new toys had worn off, and the bickering had begun.
I know I'm a bit behind (as usual) but a new year always brings some reflection. It has been one year since I left the realms of the employed outside the house. It's been a hard year. Much of my identity and my measurement of self worth was wrapped up in being a "good employee." Throw in the down spiraling economy that is certainly not helping our quest to leave Florida, and the theme of 2008 was frustration. So what did I learn in 2008 . . .
I can not put my life on hold until we leave Florida. It could be a very, long time before that may happen. It is possible that due to my husband's position, he may not be willing to go until the kids are out of school. He believes he is ready to leave, but right now there is nothing on the immediate horizon to force this decision. I can continue to hope a position elsewhere become available. We can continue to actively seek employment elsewhere. And even though I have the time to take classes, I really don't know what I want to do. I miss practicing law, but for us, two full time lawyers do not make great parents. I have to find a way to make peace with the fact that this is my life for now and be happy.
Much of happiness is an attitude choice. It's how I chose to see the glass and it is time for me to see it half full. The opportunity of being a full time parent has strengthened our family. I now have some time to do other things that I would like to do and I am damn lucky. If my life is not the way I want it, I need to make choices to change it.
So in the spirit of choosing my life, I have applied for a volunteer organization that does international legal work for non-profit agencies. If I am not accepted, I found some other non- profit agencies to contact. Legal work on a smaller scale that fits my life for now.
In my quest to see my current home in a more positive light, I have found a cooking school to take a couple classes, not for career development, but just because I like to cook. As a family, we started a compost project and are putting in a vegetable garden. I love cooking with fresh ingredients and there has to be a way to grow something in this sun. And in a total New Year's cliche, I have started a weight loss and activity plan - enough said about that.
So my New Year's resolution is to plant some new seeds and then see what happens.