Many of you know that we want to leave Florida. Part of my being home full time is to assist in finding jobs and sending resumes. This process of trying to move has been much longer then either of anticipated - it has been humbling. While we continue to apply to jobs in many places, if I am to pursue my Personal Legend then I must admit that I have dreamed of living overseas, in Europe, of learning German, and allowing my children the opportunity to learn more of the world then I ever knew as a child. I didn't grow up poor, but I grew up simple, and the idea that a kid from small town Maine would have such opportunities seems foolish and I have dismissed this dream time and again. Especially since this dream has no rational, nothing that I can point to to explain it other then simple desire.
PH has an interview on Thursday for a job that would allow us to live this dream. It is a job that he applied to almost a year ago, the interview has been set and cancelled before, the position in question, and now, it appears to be open and they still want to interview him and he still wants the job. I try very hard not to wear my heart on my sleeve, not to allow myself to hope and want too much. If I express desire aloud and it doesn't happen, I feel failure and embarrassment for wanting too much.
I am putting this one out there. I know there is no perfect job or place to live. I know this change would come with numerous obstacles that I have not even begun to imagine. I know that I should look at the odds and be rational,
I want this. So please - good thought, positive energy, prayers, whatever you've got to put out in the Universe, I'll take it.
"" . . . People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or they'll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly."
"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."" (Coelho, The Alchemist, p.130).