Wish I was there . .
My passport is ready and I can be packed in minutes.

26 August 2006

This was my life four weeks ago. My kids, my nieces, and the lake. It all just seems like a distant memory now.

This new job experience has thrown me for a loop. I'm struggling to keep up day to day. My confidence in my decision making has drastically diminished. I made a career change for the future - to benefit my family. Yet, now I'm working more hours than I have in four years, for less money, and for much less respect. I question this decision daily.

Some is the job, but some just seems to be the way I'm wired. I struggle with change. I'm such a contradiction because I'm constantly working towards the future and looking for ways to challenge myself, but dramatic change puts me over the proverbial edge. This experience has me questioning our thoughts about a possible overseas move (however, I am more certain that we need to leave Florida). How would I handle such a drastic change? Would I be able to adapt? Is that idea just an ideal?

Thanks to those of you who have recently sent me a positive note. I can not say how much those have meant this past week. I'm going to try to let this go for now and see where I am in a few months when the job isn't so new. Hopefully, with a little more sleep, a little more knowledge, and a lot less stress, my confidence will return. And hopefully, I'll have a little more time to blog :)


Ms Mac said...

Keep your chin up, change is always difficult at first and I think you're more than capable of taking on this new challenge and making the most of it.

Sunshine said...

If I could send you flowers at work, I totally would.
Or, better yet, some little "thingy" with some uplifting sentiment on it that would either put a smile on your face or the annoyance of such an item would be fun to destroy in some way, thereby working out some workplace angst.
How about a gift certificate for massage therapy instead??

hexe said...

Thank you ladies for the support. The positive attitude is catching so I'm going in with a positive smile tomorrow. And if that doesn't work, I'll use your idea Sunshine of finding something to destroy :)

Expat Traveler said...

change is definitely hard, just as hard as waiting!

I'm feeling way burnt out from the internet and well I know I need rest but I keep on plugging. It's an addiction I guess, but I see you are visiting and reading a bit still, which is so nice...

I'm trying to stay low key so that I get some rest at least. :) chin up!

RennyBA said...

Maybe you’re too hard on yourself and put to much pressure on your shoulders. No one is perfect and you seams to forget all the good things you are doing - as if you look at 'the empty half full bottle' in stead of 'the half full'. Remember what you are focused on, you get more of. Make a list of 5 good things you've done every evening and you'll see some wonderful things!
Sorry if I sound like a physiatrist – I’m more like a coach – and it’s always easy to give other advice. To be honest, you more like reminding me of what I need to do in my life too.
Have a great be nice to yourself week and you know if you need a break: you are always welcome to Norway:-)
Btw: I had forgotten to put you on my blogroll!! It’s updated now!

Heather said...

I still need to catch up before I really offer advice, but a massage sounds great....or maybe a pedicure?? Okay, okay, a smile on your face and positive attitude might work too ;-).

OH! And hi fellow Floridian ;-). Ready for Ernesto. GAH!

Claire said...

It is hard. When I first moved to Germany, I cried almost every night. However, after about a month I got used to it and was busy enough to be distracted.

It will be okay. The beginning is difficult. Keep that light at the end of the tunnel in mind!

christina said...

Oooh, poor you. So sorry that things aren't that great right now but hang in there and give it a bit more time before you decide what's right for you.

Love the lake picture!