22 May 2006
Desperate Housewives Finale lands PerfectHusband in the Dog House
First, I promise not to disclose any plotlines of the season finale of Desperate Housewives and ruin the end for those who have not yet watched it. I'd give it a 7/10 - good but not great, except for Lynette (Felicity Huffman) who I adore and gets a 10/10.
With that disclaimer said . . . PerfectHusband and I were watching the finale together. At some point, based loosely on the show we began having one of those hypothetical conversations you can only have with your spouse. The conversations that begin with "what if" and usually end in disaster.
Hexe [during commercial, of course!]: So what if I died tonight - you wouldn't get remarried?
PH [mindlessly *clicking during commercials]: You're not going to die tonight.
Hexe [more insistent]: I could. Even if I die in the next ten years, I know you'll get remarried.
PH [still mindlessly *clicking]: How can you know?
Hexe: Because you're a man [ie: you need someone to grocery shop, cook, clean, do laundry, and find KK's damn stuffed rabbit everyday]. You'd get lonely.
PH [still mindless]: I'D GET A DOG!
Hexe [turns and stares at PH who is still mindlessly *clicking]: So, I could be replaced by a DOG!
PH [hesitatingly, suddenly realizing something is amiss]: I never said a DOG could replace you. [accusingly as though this is my fault] You said I'd be lonely.
Hexe [eyes bulging out]: I'd be dead and you'd be lonely, but you could fulfill that loneliness with a DOG?!!!!
PH [wildly looking around room for escape]: Oh, the shows back on. I think I should stop talking now.
Little too late, Mr. Not-So-PerfectHusband.
*clicking - repeatedly changing channels for no apparent reason